Closest To Heaven
by JazaraRose
Summary: They were nothing more than a group of misfit teens, just trying to survive their own personal hells in the hopes of getting that much closer to heaven.
1. Inuyasha

**Inuyasha Sugitani**

* * *

"Wake up you pathetic excuse for a life!" The teenager groaned and rolled over. Bringing the covers up over his head he tried to drown out the pounding on his door.

"Go away!"

"Then get the hell up! You've got twenty minutes or you can walk yourself to school." Now he really did have to get up. There was no way in hell he was walking to school. They lived forty minutes away, by car, when the traffic was good. His brother was such a dick.

Inuyasha stretched and headed into the bathroom to start his day. Though he had to deal with his piece of shit brother Inuyasha was now a senior in high school. That meant in nine months he'd be graduating. He'd be a free man and able to do anything his heart desired. Oh yeah he could taste graduation.

"Inuyasha!"

"Shut the fuck up Sesshomaru! I'm right here!" Jumping into the passenger seat of his brother's car Inuyasha sat back and tried to enjoy the long ride to school. He thoughts wondered back to graduation and how much better his life would be once he was gone. It was no secret that Sesshomaru hated his younger brother's guts, or as they both so often corrected _half_-brother. They had different mothers and shared the same father. It was obvious that Sesshomaru blamed him for their father leaving his mother and starting a new life with Inuyasha's. The young man scoffed at that. He didn't ask to be born, and it certainly wasn't his fault that papa was a rolling stone.

Inuyasha didn't even know his father very well. He'd died when he was three and Sesshomaru probably blamed him for that too. When Inuyasha's mother died when he was ten he'd been forced by the state to move in with his brother. Sesshomaru had to drop out of university, find a job, and provide for a brother he couldn't give a rat's ass about. Inuyasha had ruined his life, and Sesshomaru never let him forget.

Inuyasha's thoughts were jarred when they finally pulled up to the school. Everyone hung out outside before the first bell for classes rung. Groups of friends gathered together talking about their summers and how they were either excited or dreading this school year.

"Find your own way home after school. I have things to do." Sesshomaru said coldly.

"Fine." Slamming the car door to emphasize his annoyance Inuyasha quickly glanced around for his group of misfit friends. Finding them under a tree sharing a cigarette at the end of the courtyard they all looked up to see him approaching.

"Hey man!" Miroku Ishida, his best friend, was the first to greet him. They Exchanged one armed man hugs before sitting once more beneath the shade of the tree. He smiled at other friends, Sango Arai and Kagome Higurashi, as they too exchanged hellos and asked about each others summers.

"Inuyasha!" Turning he saw his girlfriend Kikyou Hayashi running towards them. Her long midnight hair was pulled away from her face and her jeans fit her ass in such a nice way. He'd definitely missed her over the break. He caught her as she jumped in his arms and gave her a long lingering kiss.

"Ahem! Geez could you guys not grope each other for like five minutes?" Sango said interrupting their small make out session. She looked annoyed, Miroku was smirking at them, and Kagome wouldn't look at him at all.

"Aww come on Sangie it's hard to keep your hands to yourself when you're around someone you love." Kikyou said.

"Ain't that the truth!" Miroku was flattened in seconds when Sango smacked him for putting his hand where it didn't belong. Shaking his head Inuyasha could only laugh at his friends antics. They were crazy but somehow they managed to keep him sane.

"So after school today? What are the plans?" Kagome said finally speaking.

"I hear Kouga Lang is throwing a back to school party tonight at his house. Everyone's going so it should be fun." Kikyou said looking around for her friends approval. They all agreed as they stood up, and headed inside as the bell rang signaling first hour to start.

* * *

Waking up the next morning was a bitch. His head was pounding, his throat was dry, and he was pretty sure he was covered in his own puke.

"Inuyasha!" God he really didn't need this right now.

"I'm awake! Fuck off Sesshomaru!" Slinking into the bathroom he took in his wild hair and blood shot eyes all while smiling to himself. Last night was a great night.

Twenty minutes later he was dressed and sitting in Sesshomaru's car. The ride was awkward and silent. Though Inuyasha didn't mind the absence of their usual fighting, it was freaking him out. They pulled up to the school and the silence continued. Inuyasha turned slightly to sneak a peak at his brother. He looked like the same stoic bastard he'd always been, but he knew something was off.

"Get out."

"Keh, whatever." Stepping out of the car the day went on uneventful. All he could think about was the way Sesshomaru had been acting this morning, and it irritated him to no end that his thoughts were so focused on that asshole.

"Inuyasha are you okay? Did you hear anything I just said?" Kikyou looked at him concern showing in her brown eyes.

"No, sorry I wasn't listening."

"She said there's a rave down in the old warehouse tonight. It's Friday and were all gonna get wasted, are you in?" Miroku interjected. Wrapping an arm around Kikyou's shoulders he tried to seem nonchalant.

"Yeah sounds like a plan."

* * *

Damn! It was already 5 am. Walking through the door Inuyasha tried to be as quiet as possible, he knew there would be hell to pay if he woke up Sesshomaru.

"I've been waiting up for you."

"Gah! Sesshomaru what the hell is wrong with you? I almost had a heart attack!"

"Where have you been?" Inuyasha crossed his arms and eyed his brother suspiciously. He didn't have the time for this. All he wanted to do was sleep.

"What do you care? You suddenly worried about me Sesshy?"

"Hardly. You walk in and out of this house like it's your bachelor pad. I won't have it."

"You never minded before. Don't tell me you're finally stepping up to your role as my guardian?"

"No more games Inuyasha. I want you out."

"Are you kidding me? Where is this coming from?!"

"No I'm not kidding. You've been a pain in my ass ever since you moved in here. I'm done."

"You can't put me out! I'm supposed to live with you until I turn eighteen! Where the fuck am I supposed to go?"

"You'll be of age in a few months, I'm sure you can stay with one of those druggies you call friends until then. I'm giving you ten minutes to pack your shit or it'll be out on the street." Sesshomaru turned to head walking up the stairs without sparing Inuyasha a single glance.

"This is low even for you Sesshomaru. Father left your mom seventeen years ago! Get over it you selfish prick!" Inuyasha said letting his anger and frustration spill over.

"You now have six minutes." He continued to his room without another word.

"Fuck!" Running upstairs he threw as many things in his duffle bag as he could fit. He left the house slamming the door in a last attempt to show that bastard he hadn't gotten the best of him. Inuyasha walked aimlessly down the street with no true destination. What was he gonna do?

He tried ringing Miroku.

"Hello?" His friend sounded breathless, like he'd just finished running a marathon.

"Hey Miroku are you busy?"

"No...n-no...not at all. What's up?"

"Oh God! Yes Miroku! Right there! Right there!" He heard the female voice moan.

"Ew. Nevermind." Hanging up he sighed and rubbed his face. Miroku was really his only option. He was so royally fucked. Damn Sesshomaru to hell! Finding his way to the park Inuyasha sat down on a nearby bench and let his head fall in his hands. He was so tired. The sun was rising and he hadn't even to sleep yet.

"Inuyasha? Is that you?" Raising his head he saw Kagome standing a few feet away from him. Her wavy locks were up in a ponytail, she wore shorts, a tank top, and running shoes. He groaned and let his head fall into his hands once more. He really didn't want her to see him like this. Even without a mirror he knew he looked like shit.

"What are you doing here? It's barely 7 am." Her voice was louder. She had moved closer to him. He felt the weight on the bench shift and realized she had taken a seat next to him.

"Oh you know, just enjoying the scenery. What are you doing here?" He said sarcastically.

"I always run in the park. Are you okay? You look like a homeless man." She said giggling softly. He glared at her and the smile quickly slid from her face.

"As of two hours ago I am a homeless man. That bastard Sesshomaru put me out."

"I'm so sorry Inuyasha."

"Don't be it's not your fault."

"Where are you gonna stay? Have you tried calling Miroku?" She said sounding genuinely concerned.

"Yeah I don't think that's gonna work out. Look you really don't need to worry about it. I can take care of myself." He said more gruffly than he intended, but Kagome wasn't phased. Grabbing his arm she dragged him out of the park and down the street.

"Hey! Where are we going?"

"To my house."

"Kagome you don't have to-"

"Obviously I don't have to silly. You're my friend and you don't have anywhere to go, do you really think I'm gonna let you sleep on a park bench until graduation?"

"I...I don't know what to say." She looked up at him, eyes shining, and the biggest smile he'd ever seen plastered on her face. The breeze played in her hair and in that moment he was so grateful for her.

"Just say thank you." She smiled again and made a move to hold his hand. The action surprised him almost as much as the blush staining her cheeks did, but he didn't question her. He simply returned the gesture and smiled at her as they continued walking to her house.

"Thank you Kagome."

* * *

**I know I haven't updated Crimson Sakura in forever and I'm very sorry about that. I just can't seem to get the creative juices flowing for that one, but there isn't a lot of interest being shown for that story so I'm not very pressed about it. I also haven't updated The Deadly Siren and I'm not sure if I ever will. I'm just really not feeling that story anymore : /**

**Now onto this new story! I have been _obsessed_ with this new show called Skins and this story is based off that show. Each chapter is kind of a short story for each character and in the end they will all collide and mesh together. So I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and decide to come along for the rest of the ride!**

**Don't forget to REVIEW and tell me what you think : D**


	2. Sango

**Sango Arai**

* * *

_Beep! Beep! Beep!_

A young girl groaned as she was rudely awakened by the sound of her alarm. Stretching out her unused muscles, the hazel eyed girl made her way to the bathroom to begin her morning routine. Stepping out of the warm shower Sango Arai stared at herself in the cloudy mirror. She inspected her freshly brushed teeth and examined the bags underneath her eyes. Reaching into her medicine cabinet she pulled out her expensive cosmetic cream that "supposedly" removed dark, blotchy, under eye circles.

"Yeah right. This stuff is shit." She complained. Throwing her hair up into a ponytail she quickly dressed in jeans and a plain shirt. Her makeup was light, and once again she groaned at her inability to cover her gross under eye circles.

Stepping into the hallway Sango couldn't help but notice the lack of noise going on in her home, which meant two things: Her father wasn't home and Kohaku wasn't awake.

Stepping into the little boy's room, Sango almost broke her neck tripping over the monster trucks and action figures that littered the floor.

"Kohaku! Kohaku wake up. You need to get dressed for school."

"Just five more minutes sis." The eleven year old groaned.

"If you get up right now I'll drive you." She watched with a satisfied smirk as Kohaku slowly began to rise from his bed.

Leaving him to get dressed Sango headed to the kitchen to start breakfast. Moving throughout the small space Sango came across a neatly folded note sitting on the counter.

_Dear Sango and Kohaku,_

_I'm sorry to have to leave so abruptly like this after just getting home, but I've been called away to another emergency meeting. I hope to be gone no more than two weeks. I've left some cash for groceries, and if you need more I left a charge card for you guys._

_See you all soon,_

_Dad_

_"_Two weeks my ass. We'll be lucky if you we see you in a month." Crumbling the note and stashing the cash Sango finished making her brother's breakfast.

"Sis these omelets smell amazing!" Kohaku said bounding down the stairs and towards the table. "Hey do you know where dad is? I haven't seen him this morning." He said with a mouth full of omelet.

"He got called away again Kohaku. He said he'll be gone about two weeks." She said sadly.

"But my first soccer game is on friday. He promised me he'd be here." The disappointed tone in her brother's voice was enough to break her heart. And it hurt her even more that there was nothing she could do about it. Their father was a bastard and that was something Sango just couldn't change.

"Hurry and eat Kohaku. I don't want you to be late for school."

* * *

"Sango wait up!" Turning around Sango watched as her best friend, Kagome Higurahsi, pushed her away around the crowded hallway to get to her.

"God when did so many people start going to this school?" Kagome said out of breath.

"I heard the freshman class has four hundred students."

"People really need to stop reproducing." Laughing the girls made their way to first hour. Walking in just after the bell, they saw that Miroku and Inuyasha had already arrived.

"Good morning beautiful ladies. And I must say my dear Sango you are looking even more radiant than usual." Miroku said grabbing Sango's hand and giving her an award winning smile.

"Good morning Miroku and good morning to you too Inuyasha." Kagome said taking her seat.

"Keh."

"Come now Inuyasha. That's no way to address a woman."

"Miroku you have ten seconds to remove your hand from my ass!"

"Forgive me my dear, you know my hand has a mind of its own."

"Mr. Ishida please stop feeling on my students and find your seat. I have a lesson to teach if you don't mind." After taking his seat, the teacher began his long boring lecture on cell division.

"So Kagome how is it having Inuyasha Sugitani staying at your house?" Sango whispered quietly. Being Kagome's best friend she was aware of the girl's feelings for the young man. It had been two weeks since he moved in and Sango was dying for some details.

"Not as bad as I thought it'd be. I mean what seventeen year old girl wants the guy she's madly in love with living her and her family? Mama and Souta adore him, but Grandpa thinks he's a hoodlum." The girl's giggles were quickly squandered by their teacher's death glare.

"What does Kikyou have to say about it?" Sango asked when the teacher began talking once more.

"I don't know. We're all friends so I don't see why it'd be a problem. To be honest though I don't think she even knows."

"The problem is you love him."

"The solution is he doesn't love me back." Sango watched as Kagome's eyes drifted over to the Silver haired teen. The teacher ended his long winded discussion and gave the class the rest of the period to work, after finally realizing he'd lost their attention long ago.

"Okay Sango, enough about me and my one sided love life. What about you and Miroku? How long are you gonna let him grope you before you tell him that you like it?"

"I do not! And what about me and Miroku? There's nothing between us. He likes anything with boobs and a nice ass. I'm nothing special to him." Her tone was quiet and dejected. They loved each other and they were both too scared to admit it. Everyone in their high school knew those two belonged together except them.

"You're wrong Sango I'm telling you." Kagome said. She couldn't tell Sango that Inuyasha had confided in her about Miroku's feelings. The guy was afraid of rejection, and who wouldn't be? But her friends were letting a good thing pass them by, and it pissed her off to no end.

"How would know?" Sango asked skeptically.

"Have a little faith in your bestie okay?" The bell signaled the end of class, and Sango was a little more than unnerved by that weird smirk that was spreading across Kagome's face.

* * *

"Go Kohaku! You're wide open! Shoot the ball!" Sango yelled excitedly as her brother scored the winning goal for his soccer team. She cheered on with the rest of the parents, watching as the team celebrated and shook hands with the other players.

"Did you see that sis?! I scored the winning goal! They're even letting me keep the ball." Kohaku said proudly running over to his older sibling.

"That was amazing Kohaku. You've gotten pretty good since the last time I saw you play."

"That's because I was seven the last time you came to one of my games."

"I'm sorry kiddo. I promise to start coming more often okay? How about we get some sushi to celebrate?" The siblings entered their home still talking about the soccer game. Sango couldn't help but smile as she listened to her brother talk passionately about the game. He loved soccer and he was damn good at it if she did say so herself. Maybe he'd go to college on a soccer scholarship one day.

"Alright kid go bathe and get ready for bed, you smell like an old gym sock."

"That my dear sister is the stench of champions!" Laughing Sango hung up her coat and keys and entered the kitchen for a glass of water. Her heart leapt up into her throat when she realized she wasn't alone.

"Dad? What are you doing scaring me like that?" She said angrily.

"Sorry, I didn't meant to."

"Whatever." Stepping around him she filled her glass and headed to her room to change. After telling her brother their father was home, she told him goodnight and informed him that she'd be going out.

"I'll be back in a little while. Call if you need something, kay?"

"Yeah sure. Night sis."

"Goodnight." Heading downstairs, she was a little more than annoyed to see her father blocking her only exit.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Out." She said defiantly.

"Out where? What kind of places are you going at eleven at night?" He pushed.

"None of your business. You know I'm seventeen years old, it's a little too late to try and start acting like a concerned parent who actually gives a shit."

"That's not fair Sango. I do my best."

"Really? Cause I couldn't tell." Maneuvering around her father Sango roughly opened the door, and made sure to slam it behind her.

* * *

It was a miracle to Sango that her father had managed to stay home for a whole week. Kohaku was the happiest she'd seen him in a while and it tore her apart. On one hand she was glad that Kohaku was getting the quality time that he desired. She was happy that he was happy, but she knew it wouldn't last for long. They're father would be leaving again soon, and the sturdy ground Kohaku had though he'd found would crumble beneath his feet; He'd be right back where he stared, wanting something that would never happen.

Sango had given up long ago. In the end she figured the pain wasn't worth it. Unfortunately Kohaku would learn soon enough that their father only made empty promises he had no intention of keeping.

Just when she began wondering when it had gotten so late, her thoughts were interrupted when her little brother came bursting into the house. His face was lit up in joy and she could see the delight shining in his eyes.

"Sango guess what? Dad was teaching me some new soccer moves. I'm gonna use them in the next game. I told him about my goal and he said he was really proud of me! I have another one in two weeks and he said he promises to be there, are you gonna come too?"

Smiling sadly she ruffled his hair in a loving gesture, "you know it. Now go shower cause I know you didn't take one earlier." Laughing she watched as Kohaku pouted his way up the stairs and into the bathroom.

"You know you act more as a mother to Kohaku than a sister." Her father stated. Shooting him a glare, she tried to show him that she wasn't in the mood for his shit.

"With a mother whose long gone and father whose never around, I guess someone had to step up right?" She said bitterly.

"Sango-"

"I don't wanna hear it." She tried to turn away when her father forcefully grabbed her arm and spun her around.

"Now you listen to me. I know that I'm not around as much as you'd like, but I am still your father, and you will respect me as such!" He yelled.

"Oh will I?" Sango said challenging him. Yanking her arm from his grip she had half a mind to smack him across the face. How dare he? "If you were ever around maybe I would respect you, but I don't respect cowards! I don't respect people who run away from their problems instead of facing them!"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means that ever since mom left you act as if you can't stand to be around me! I look just like her and you hate me for it. I may look like her but I'm not her...I'm your daughter and you can't even look at me!" She screamed, her voice cracking under the volume of her words.

"That's not true! I love you and I love your brother! I hate being away from you guys like I am."

"You're a liar. You always have been. That's why mom left in the first place, but you know what? I don't care anymore. I've learned a long time ago that you were nothing more than walking bullshit. But _he _doesn't know that." Sango said gesturing to the stairs where Kohaku had vanished sometime ago.

"Kohaku still believes in you. He clings onto your every action, every word you say, and every time you leave it's like you're spitting in his face! I wish you could've seen the pain in his eyes when he realized you weren't gonna make it to his game. Kohaku is an amazing kid and he doesn't deserve a piece of shit father like you!"

_Crack!_

Sango's head turned to side with the force of her father's slap. She was stunned for a moment before the angry tears started to fall.

"I'm sorry..." Her father whispered. His hands were trembling and his voice shook with emotion. He reached for his daughter and flinched when she smacked his hand away.

"She's been gone a long time dad. It's time to let her go." She whispered solemnly. Heading to her room, she began to shower and change. She couldn't deal with this right now. Picking up her cell she dialed Kagome's number.

"Hey what are you doing tonight?" "Kouga's house? Sounds good I'm on my way."

* * *

The house was dark and cramped. Hot, sweaty bodies moved to the sound of the pounding music. She was suppose to meet Kagome in the drive way, but after ringing her three times with no reply she decided to go in alone. Pushing her way through the crowd Sango had to restrain herself from smacking the drunk blonde who'd fallen into her arms.

"I should've just waited for Kagome outside." She said to herself. Tossing the girl on the couch Sango continued to make her way through the house.

"Sango! Hey I went outside to find you outside and you weren't there. I'd thought maybe you'd change your mind." Kagome said coming up behind her.

"I needed to get out of my house. Where is everyone?" Taking her hand Kagome lead them into a room in the back of the house. Upon entering she saw Inuyasha and another boy she didn't recognize taking shots. To her left she spotted Kikyou swallowing a handful of pills, and Miroku doing a line off the table.

"Come on Sango it's a party! Forget about your problems and let's get wasted!" Laughing Sango followed Kagome over to Inuyasha and they took a shot...and another...and another. The familiar burning in her throat was a comfort. She did a line off her hand relished in familiar sting she felt in her nostrils.

And soon the world started to fade into nothingness.

**.:..:...:...:.**

"Oh god I feel like I got hit by a truck." Sango rasped. She cringed at the dryness in her mouth and her nose flared at a foul stench. She really hoped that was her puke on the floor. The sun peaked through the curtains and Sango hissed at it's brightness. She rolled over trying escape the painful rays and screamed when she realized there was another person in the bed.

"Hey not so loud! My head is killing me." The young man rubbed his temples to try and ease the pounding. The screeching coming from the girl was definitely not helping. Stretching out his sore muscles the covers slipped from his frame, and he realized he was naked. Okay so maybe the girl had a reason to be screeching.

"M-Miroku? What the fuck?!" Oh god. Fucking hell that sounded like Sango. The dark haired teen closed his eyes and promised that if this girl wasn't Sango, he'd take a vow of celibacy and become a monk.

Fuck.

"Sango? What the fuck?!"

"I just said that!"

"Why are you naked?" As much as he'd like to get to the bottom of this situation, her perfectly round tits were distracting.

"I could be asking you the same thing! Shit this can't be happening..." Clutching the side of her head all Sango felt like doing in that moment was crying. How could she be so stupid?

"Look Sango...it's not that bad really." Miroku said trying to reassure her, but he was sure he wasn't doing a very good job.

"Not that bad? Not that bad?! I'm waking up naked and hung over in someone's house. I can't remember having sex with you last night and the only thing you can say is 'it's not that bad'!"

"Let's just say it was a mistake okay? We were both messed up, we didn't know what we were doing, and it never has to happen again. How's that?" Sango didn't know what she wanted to hear Miroku say, but that definitely wasn't it. He said that last night was a mistake, it was never gonna happen again.

Did that mean he regretted it? Did she? She wanted to believe she did.

"Earth to Sango...you still there?" Looking over at him she saw the concern in his eyes. She took in his shirtless chest and messy hair. Just looking at him made the fire in her belly churn. God she really wanted to regret what they did...

But she didn't. Maybe this was her only chance to be with him the way she wanted to, because according to him, he never wanted this to happen again.

"I've gotta go." Snatching her clothes and putting them on quickly, she all but ran from the room. Taking the stairs two at a time she jumped over bodies of passed out teenagers in her haste to get out. Her throat burning as she felt the onset of her tears. The water building behind her eyes began to cloud her vision and she had to stop.

Why was she crying? What was she excepting, a sudden declaration of love? Sliding to her knees on the sidewalk she let the sobs rack her body, and unbeknownst to her, Miroku sat in the same place she'd left him, staring unblinkingly at the only evidence of their union.

The red spot she'd left on Kouga's white sheets.

* * *

**And that's another chapter done. I've been away for longer than I wanted due to school, but after midterms are finished I hope to be able to work on this story more frequently.**

**With that said hope you enjoyed this chapter and please don't forget to...**

**REVIEW!**


	3. Miroku

**Miroku Ishida**

* * *

"Lady Kaguya was a demonic princess of the Feudal Era. She was a beautiful demon with a lust for eternal youth and power." Miroku sat in history listening to his teacher drone on, while simultaneously trying to keep his eyes open. Who cared about what happened 500 years in the past? He certainly didn't. Especially when the girl he'd been pining over since last year, hadn't spoken to him in almost two weeks.

Sango wouldn't look at him, she wouldn't speak to him, and she avoided him like the plague. He didn't understand. What had he done wrong?

_Oh I don't know, maybe it's because you took her virginity in a night of drunken stupor!_

Was she really still angry about that? He had kinda sorta, not really, apologized. They had made a mistake and they had talked about it.

hadn't they?

_More like you threw her to the side and she ran out crying._

He hadn't meant to hurt her. From the way she reacted, he'd thought forgetting about the ordeal would be the best option. She had seemed so sad, like she regretted what happened. To be honest, he wouldn't blame her if she did.

"Miroku!" Looking up Miroku saw Kikyou staring at him.

"Did you say something?" He asked her dumbly.

"The bell rang and you were just sitting there. Are you okay?" She asked concerned for her friend. He had been acting a little strange, well, more strange than usual. If she had to guess, she'd say it was because of the way Sango had been treating him lately.

"I'm fine. Let's go I'm sure everyone's waiting for us." Gathering his books he followed Kikyou out of the classroom and into the crowded hallway.

* * *

"Sango are you really still mad at Miroku? It's been two whole weeks." Kagome said, worried about her best friend. The girl had been down in the dumps since she'd called Kagome crying on the side of the road, about what had happened between her and Miroku.

"No, I don't think I'm mad anymore. I'm...sad and hurt and I don't even understand why."

"Maybe it's because you love him? Even though you don't really remember what happened it meant something to you." Putting a hand on Sango's shoulder she tried to give her friend the comfort she needed, but the reality was, whatever Sango needed, it had to come from Miroku.

"It shouldn't mean anything to me. Like you said I don't even remember what happened. It's just, the way he spoke to me...it was so nonchalant. It felt as if this kind of thing happened to him all the time, and I felt like another notch in his belt. I felt like the one thing I never wanted to be to him." Tears welled up in the girl's eyes and she quickly tried to blink them away. She would not cry about this anymore.

"Sango why don't you just talk to him? I've noticed Miroku's mood lately and it's obviously due to the cold shoulder you've been giving him. I'm sure he's just as torn up about this as you." Walking up to her locker Kagome pulled out her books, as she waited for Sango's response.

"I don't want to talk to him, not now at least. I can't." The bell rang and the students began to scatter, Kagome gave Sango another pitiful look as they split into different directions and headed to class.

* * *

Miroku walked down the empty street to his house. He shifted his heavy backpack from one achey shoulder to the other, but even the pain in his back wasn't enough to get his mind off Sango.

Unlocking the front door to his childhood home, the smell of vomit and vodka hit him full force. He quickly covered his nose to keep himself from gagging. After dealing with Sango and school, the last thing he wanted to come home to was his drunk Uncle Mushin. Kicking his shoes off he walked deeper into house, and saw his uncle passed out on the couch.

_'Well at least I don't have to deal with him for now.' _Miroku was an only child. He never knew his father and his mother lost her battle with breast cancer when he was eight. He thought he was lucky when his funny Uncle Mushin had moved in to take care of him. He didn't have to move, which meant he didn't have to change schools, or make new friends. Sure his mom was gone, but as long nothing else changed he'd be alright.

_'How wrong I was.'_

He was ten when he got his first dose of how cruel his "funny uncle" truly was. His crime was innocent, certainly not worthy of the punishment he was delivered. He'd only left his baseball glove on floor after he came inside from playing.

___ It was two o'clock in the afternoon when Mushin _came stumbling into the house. It was obvious that the middle aged man had had a little too much to drink and was already piss drunk. For some reason he was angry today. He didn't know why, but he needed an outlet, something to vent his frustrations on. 

_He found the perfect opportunity when he tripped over his nephew's baseball glove, lying forgotten on the floor._

_"Miroku! Get in here now!" He screamed._

_"What's up Uncle Mushin? You don't look so good, you're not gonna puke are you?" Miroku definitely didn't wanna get stuck cleaning that up again._

_"How many times do I have to tell you I'm not a fucking maid! Stop leaving your shit around for me to bust my ass on!"_

_"I'm sorry, geez I won't do it again." Miroku made his way over to his glove with every intention of picking it up, when Mushin quickly snatched him by his collar._

_"Are you back talking me you little shit?! After I stepped up to care of you! Don't you think I deserve more fucking respect than that?" He backhanded his nephew across the face in his anger. He'd never hit the boy before, but he relished in the look of fear in Miroku's eyes, and the blood seeping from his busted lip. To everyone else in the world Mushin wasn't shit. He just a drunkard who used alcohol to numb the pain felt while he carried on his miserable existence. No one respected him, but this boy would._

_"I-I'm sorry! I'm sorry Uncle Mushin!"_

_"You damn right you are! No more leaving your shit around got it?" Miroku nodded his head quickly, and ran as fast as he could away from the monster who used to be his uncle. That day marked the first of many senseless beatings._

Thinking about that day, Miroku's anger for the man who was supposed to take care of him increased. He hated that man. He hated him with all his being! Yet no matter how hard he tried, even after he became taller and stronger than Mushin, he found himself still unable to fight back. There was something within him, that wouldn't allow him to raise a hand to his uncle.

"Miroku!" Mushin was awake now. He just hoped whatever happened today, he didn't get hit in the face. He was running out of good excuses to use at school.

* * *

The gang sat under a nicely shaded tree before it was time for classes to start. They talked about homework assignments that never got completed, tests they'd forgotten to studying for, and the parties they'd be attending this weekend.

Miroku quitely walked up to his friends, trying not to bring any attention to himself. After dinner Miroku had decided to take a nap before starting the dishes, and trying to do his homework, but that wasn't gonna fly for Mushin. He'd walked in Miroku's room a little more sober than usual after being passed out for three hours on the couch.

_"Where's my dinner you bastard? You think you're just gonna cook for yourself and leave me to starve huh?"_

_"No, your food is in the fridge." Miroku said calmly. He wanted to avoid a fight if he could._

_"Then go fucking get it!" He dragged Miroku out of bed by his hair. Miroku struggled to keep pace with Mushin. His back was set in an awkward position as tried to keep as much tension of his scalp as possible. After being released Miroku set to heating up his uncle's dinner, while his uncle took a seat at the dining room table._

_"This kitchen is a goddamn mess and so is this house! You're such a fucking bum Miroku, you know that? God, why do I have to tell you everything?" Mushin said exasperated._

_"I'm a bum? You're the one who wants be waited on hand and foot by a teenager." Miroku's back stiffened as soon as the words left his mouth. He thought he'd said that in his head, but by the way Mushin was glaring at him, he'd heard every word._

_"What. did. you. say?" His words were taut with barely restrained anger. He stood from his chair knocking it to the ground in his haste._

_"N-nothing. I didn't say anything. Uncle Mushin please-" Miroku said backing up, trying to put as much distance between them as he could._

_"You fucking bastard!"_

Now Miroku arrived at school, aching from the kicks he'd received in the back, a busted lip he'd been icing since last night, and nice shiner on his left eye.

"Miroku! Oh my god what happened?" Kagome was the first one to notice him. He smiled as best he could, as she rushed over to inspect him. Kikyou soon followed Kagome looking over his eye and lip. At least his other bruises were hidden. He even saw Sango looking at him, worry etched on her face, though she made no move to come towards him.

"Ladies, ladies. I appreciate being surround by such beauties, but I'm fine."

"You don't look fine." Damn, even Inuyasha had something to say. Did he really look that bad?

"Really, there's no need to fuss over me."

"You still never said what happened." Kagome said. She laid on a hand on his side and he tried not to wince.

"I ran into the door. I was trying to go in the bathroom, while my Uncle was trying to come out. He whacked me in the face, but I'm fine." Sango and Inuyasha looked a little skeptical at his story, but they let it slide and he was grateful for that.

* * *

The rest of the week passed on uneventful. School went on as normal and even things at home had been, dare he say it...peaceful?

Mushin seemed to just ignore him these last few days. Every since he was ten he was beaten or slapped for something, _anything _he did. Yet Mushin hadn't laid a hand on him since that night in the kitchen. On Friday things were still calm, so Miroku decided he needed a night out with his friends.

They went to a rave in the next town over. One of the best ones they'd been to yet. The lights, the music, the women. It was everything he needed to forget about the shitty life he was living at home. The only thing that would have made that night perfect, was if Sango had came, but she skipped out at the last minute. She claimed it had something to do with her brother's soccer game. Miroku hadn't been able to tell if she was lying or not.

Inuyasha had dropped him off a couple blocks away from his house, claiming the fresh air would sober him up faster.

"What I really need to do is puke." Miroku stumbled onto his porch and before he could even unlock his door, he emptied his stomach into the bushes. "Much better." Miroku already had the rest of his night planned out. He'd get some water, pop a tylenol, and take his drunk ass to bed. Oh yeah that sounded like heaven. He walked into the dark house trying to be a quite as possible, it was three o'clock in the morning and he was pretty sure Mushin was asleep.

"What are you doing sneaking in here like that?" Miroku jumped at his Uncle's voice. His voice was calm, his words were steady and punctuated, which could mean one thing.

_'Oh God. He's sober...'_

"Well? You gonna answer me?" He stood up from his seat on the couch, flicking on the light in the livingroom, as he slowly advanced towards Miroku.

"I-I wasn't trying to sneak. I just didn't want to wake you, I didn't know if you were asleep."

"You know Miroku, this is the first time I've been sober in twenty years. The vodka induced fog has been lifted from my mind and I've had a moment of clarity." He'd never heard his Uncle speak like this. Even when he wasn't completely drunk, he was always tipsy. To see him like this, couldn't mean anything good.

"Do you know what I've come to realized Miroku?" Shaking his head no Miroku didn't trust himself to speak. This was unknown territory. An angry, drunk Mushin he could deal with. He'd _learned _to deal with that, but this...this was an unexplored area they were stepping into and he was scared. For the first time since he was a little boy, Miroku was actually scared.

"I hate you." Mushin said. The words flowed so easily from his lips, like he'd been practicing to tell Miroku this all his life. Who knows? Maybe he had.

"Uncle Mushin?"

"I've never understood why I did the things I did to you. I was always so angry with you. Even now, just looking at you makes my blood boil, and I think it's because you remind me so much of your father." Miroku's eyes widened at the confession. No one ever spoke about his father. His mother never wanted to share anything about him and Miroku never cared enough to press her for information. The only thing he knew was that one day he'd left and he never came back.

"I don't understand. Why do you hate him? Hate me?"

"I don't completely understand it you know. Your father was a selfish bastard. He'd left my baby sister all by herself to raise a child on her own. A child she should have never had." Miroku's heart was pounding. The blood was rushing to his head and he felt woozy.

_'Please stop.' _

"It's your fault your mother is dead." Miroku's knees buckled and Mushin stepped closer to him.

"Stop it." His words were so quite, he was sure his Uncle hadn't heard him. Maybe that's why came closer still, sending his sharp words to stab Miroku painfully in his heart.

"The doctors told her she'd die trying to have you. While she was pregnant she had to stop taking her medications, she had to stop going to chemo. She had to stop everything that had been keeping her alive, all because she wanted have you!"

The tears collected in Miroku's eyes and his legs finally gave out. He didn't like this, he didn't like this Mushin. He couldn't defend himself against this man. How could you shield yourself from such painful words?

"After she gave birth they immediately started up her treatments again, but it was too late. The cancer was back and it was more aggressive than ever. _You _did that to her! She died for you! And for what? She told me she would never regret having you. Her last words to me were to take care of you, because she thought you'd be something someday. I tried and I couldn't do it. You look too much like him and you act like him too. My sister gave up her life for nothing...you're worthless."

The tears flowed down his cheeks and Miroku made no attempt to block the blows he was dealt. The pain was worse than usual. This Mushin's coordination wasn't handicapped by alcohol. His fists were precise and carefully placed. On his face, his stomach, his chest. He wanted it to stop. It had to stop.

This Mushin...was trying to kill him.

Blindly Miroku kicked out, his foot hitting something solid. He heard a grunt of pain and he knew this was his only chance. Every muscle in his body screamed out at every movement he made. His eyes grew heavy as the blood loss became more and more apparent. He was outside now, but he had no idea where he was going. He wondered for what felt like hours, when he decided to knock on a house that looked familiar to him.

Weakly his hand knocked on the door, and there was no answer. He tried again and still nothing happened. He rang the doorbell and knocked again. He should just leave, find somewhere else to go, but he knew he'd never make it anywhere else.

"Hey asshole! Do you know what fucking time-" The girls response was cut short, when her hazel eyes landed on the bleeding, barely conscious boy on her doorstep. "Miroku?"

"Sango..." Without a second thought the young girl dragged him into the house. Lying him on the couch, she quickly set to work on cleaning and disinfecting the shallow gashes he had on his face. She inspected the rest of his body, pulling off his shirt only to reveal many old and a few fresh bruises. Looking at him in so much pain, brought tears to her eyes. The busted lips, the black eyes, and the poor excuses, it all made sense to her now, and she hated herself for not noticing sooner.

"I should've realized something was going on. I should've called the police or done something to help you. Your excuses were shit you know." Sango said trying to lighten up the mood. Miroku tried to chuckle along with her, but the pain in his ribs cut his laughter short.

"I'm tired." He said shutting his eyes.

"No you can't go to sleep Miroku. What if you have a concussion? Just talk to me for awhile okay?" A long silence stretched on between them, and Sango began to wonder if he had fallen asleep anyway, until he spoke again.

"I'm sorry Sango." He said quietly.

"What could you possibly be sorry for at this moment?" She said incredulously. The guy was bleeding on her couch, and he was apologizing to her.

"For what happened...a few weeks ago. I hurt you and I'm sorry for that."

"Don't be sorry. What happened wasn't completely your fault. I overreacted because I wanted to regret what we did but...I don't." Miroku looked up at her through the one eye that wasn't swollen shut. He smiled at her, as wide as he could, and it made Sango's heart flutter.

"I know I have a shitty way of showing it, but I love you Sango. Honestly I do. I'm sorry it took me getting beaten to a bloody pulp to grow some balls and tell you."

It was no use trying to keep her tears at bay any longer. They flowed freely down her cheeks and she had to cover her mouth to silence her sobs.

"I love you too Miroku. I'm sorry it took me almost losing you to admit it." She smiled at him and placed a gentle kiss on his bruised cheek.

Sighing Miroku laid back on the couch, relishing in Sango's presence. She stroked his hair and allowed him to be lulled to sleep by her sweet voice.

_'I think...everything's gonna be okay now.'_

* * *

**Don't you just love some MirSan fluff?**

**Reviews are appreciated. **


	4. Kagome

**Kagome Higurashi**

* * *

_"Oh yeah! Harder Inu! Harder!"_

_"You like that?"_

_"Yes!"_

_"Say my name. I want to hear you say it!"_

_"Inu-Inuyasha!"_

Kagome groaned as she put another pillow over her face. It seemed as if nothing could drown out the passionate noises coming from the room next to hers.

"I knew I should've went to Sango's house." Getting up the raven haired girl made her way into the kitchen. Passing a closed door to her right, she couldn't hear anymore noises coming from inside. _'Thank God!' _She thought to herself as she continued down the hall. _'They've been going at it for hours.' _Finally entering the kitchen Kagome poured herself a glass of milk and put it in the microwave. Maybe a warm glass of milk would finally be able to put her to sleep.

"Hey I didn't know you were here. I thought you went to Sango's." Kagome jumped slightly at the sound of Inuyasha's voice. He walked in wearing nothing but a pair of sweats, his hair a tangled mess. He pants hung low on his hips and if Kagome had to guess, she'd say he didn't have any underwear on. Blushing at her naughty thoughts, Kagome quickly turned around to hide her embarrassment.

"I cancelled at the last minute. I'm tired and I figured I'd get more rest by staying here, guess I was wrong." She watched Inuyasha blush and scratch the back of his neck. Turning away from him, she sighed and pulled her milk out of the microwave. Why was she even angry? Kikyou was Inuyasha's girlfriend. She should've been prepared for this when she invited him to move in, but even telling herself that didn't make her feel any better.

_'Being jealous won't solve anything Kagome, just let it go.'_

Sighing, she made to move past him when she felt him grab her wrist. Turning to Inuyasha, she saw him still blushing, his head turned to the side in a vain attempt to conceal it.

"I-I wouldn't have invited her over if I knew you were gonna be here." He said quietly. Knowing that was as much of an apology as she was gonna get, she gave him a small smile and continued on her way back to her room.

Inuyasha watched her retreating form and for some reason, he felt like an ass. He was shaken from his thoughts when he saw Kikyou standing in the door way, with nothing but his sheets wrapped around her body.

"Are you coming back to bed?"

Rubbing his face Inuyasha let out a long breath. There was no way he should be feeling guilty like this. Not when his sexy girlfriend was standing next to him, almost naked, and very willing to allow him to take his frustrations out on her body.

"Yeah, I'm coming."

* * *

"I told you, you should've come over last night." Sango said as she continued to look through the clearance rack. After her disastrous night yesterday, Kagome couldn't handle being around Inuyasha, and had decided a day at the mall with Sango would do her some good.

And it would have, if Sango would stop bringing up the one thing she really didn't want to talk about.

"Are you done now?" Kagome said finally getting annoyed.

"No, but I'll stop just for you. I promise." Sango said giggling.

"Ugh! Sango I can't stop thinking about it! It's gonna drive me insane."

"You know I never understood why you didn't ever tell Inuyasha how you felt? You had your opportunity when Kikyou moved away in middle school." Kagome sighed knowing her best friend was right. After Kikyou's mother died, her and her younger sister Kaede had moved away to live with her grandmother. Even back then Kagome loved Inuyasha, but he'd always had a crush on Kikyou. They had gotten so close after she had left, Kagome thought she'd finally be able to be with him the way she wanted.

Until Kikyou moved back in town right before highschool. It seemed the two had picked up right where they left off, leaving Kagome feeling abandoned and confused on the sidelines. Her and Kikyou had always been good friends, and even though she wanted Inuyasha's heart for herself, she wasn't the type to go under her friend's nose to get it.

She'd let Inuyasha slip right through her fingers, and there was no one else to blame but herself. Every time she looked at him she regretted not going after him all those years ago, but she knew it was too late now. Inuyasha and Kikyou had been official for two years, not too mention graduation was a few months away. Soon everyone would be going their separate ways, yet Kagome knew Inuyasha and Kikyou would follow each other anywhere.

Noticing the direction her friend's thoughts had turned, Sango suggested they go into the new lingerie store that had just opened.

"We'll get you something sexy to where for the rave next weekend. All the boys will want you and you can just forget about Inuyasha for awhile, okay?" Smiling Kagome appreciated Sango's attempt to cheer her up. Trying to keep pace, she allowed herself to be pulled by Sango into the scandalous store.

* * *

"Hey Kagome! Kagome wait up!" Turning at the sound of her name Kagome saw Kouga Lang running towards her. His dark hair swung behind him in a long ponytail and his sparking blue eyes lit up when he saw her face. It was no secret that the track star had a crush on Kagome. That much was clear when he'd announced his undying love for her in the cafeteria junior year.

"Hi Kouga, how are you?" She said smiling at him. Kagome had learned to just put up with Kouga's affections. She didn't mind really, it was nice to feel appreciated by someone every once in awhile. Sango had been trying to slowly persuade her to give Kouga a chance, and Kagome knew that she should, but her lingering feelings for Inuyasha always held her back. Kouga was a nice guy, and he was definitely a sight for sore eyes, but she figured if she couldn't give her all to him, she shouldn't give him anything. Though that never deterred him in the least.

"Much better, now that I've seen your beautiful face." He said smoothly. She blushed under his intense gaze and sweet words.

_'Why am I not dating him again?' _Kagome was snapped from her thoughts, when she noticed Kouga was still talking to her.

"I just wanted to see if you'd like to catch a movie with me this weekend. We can see whatever you want and then we could get a bite to eat."

"Kouga, I don't think-"

"Come on Kagome, how many times are you gonna tell me no? You should know that I'll just keep coming back until you finally agree." He said smirking at her.

"She said no. Why don't you just go in a corner and scratch your fleas, huh?" Inuyasha said coming up behind Kouga. Kikyou walked closely at his side, Miroku and Sango following right behind them.

"Actually she didn't get a chance to say anything. Why don't you just keep your big mouth shut and mind your own business asshole!"

Inuyasha growled.

"Inuyasha back off, okay? There's no need for you two to fight." Kagome pleaded stepping between the two boys. The students in the hallway were now gathering around, watching the exchange between the most volatile males in the whole school.

"Of course there is! This dirt bag was bothering you!"

"Says who? We were having a nice conversation before you decided to stick your nose where it didn't belong!" Kagome shouted, finally letting her temper get the best of her.

"Don't tell me you were _enjoying _talking to him?!" Inuyasha seethed.

"Maybe I was? I don't see why it should matter to you!"

"It doesn't matter. I-I don't care what you do!"

"Fine! Kouga, you can pick me up Friday night at eight okay? I'll be waiting for you." Placing a gentle kiss on Kouga's cheek, Kagome tried to hide her smirk of satisfaction at the look on Inuyasha's face.

* * *

"Are you done sulking Inuyasha?" Miroku said as he sat by his best friend at lunch. The whole group was sitting in their usual spot in the courtyard, underneath their favorite tree. Everyone except Kagome that this. The girl had taken it upon herself to sit with Kouga and his group of friends. Leaving a very angry Inuyasha behind for everyone else to deal with.

"I'm not sulking!" He snapped at Miroku. Of course he was, but it pissed him off that he was obviously failing to hide it. He watched as Kouga leaned over to whisper something in Kagome's ear. She blushed and stared giggling like a school girl, and it made his blood boil.

Who the fuck did he think he was? Putting his filthy hands all over Kagome like she belonged to him.

_'If she belongs to anyone, it's me dammit!'_ His eyes widened at the sudden turn his thoughts had taken. A guilty feeling settled in his stomach and it made him sick. He shouldn't be thinking about Kagome like that. She was his best female friend and he was dating Kikyou. If anyone belonged to him most certainly Kikyou did. But if that was the case, then why did he allow Kouga to get under his skin? Why did the thought of that bastard taking Kagome on a date make him want to wretch? And why did the thought of Kagome enjoying it strike a painful cord in his chest?

"I'm not hungry." Inuyasha said to no one in particular. Standing up and quickly moving away from the group, he'd grown tired of watching Kouga and Kagome flirt shamelessly in front of him. Walking around the back of the school he pulled a cigarette from his pocket, lighting it, and took a deep drag of the disgusting smoke. The stuff tasted like shit, but he knew the nicotine would calm his nerves, and that was something he definitely needed right now. Hearing soft footsteps approach, Inuyasha saw Kikyou peek her head around the corner.

His guilt over the whole situation only intensified. He must have looked so awful to her, getting so upset about something so trivial.

"Hey." She said softly, coming to stand next to him. He grunted in response and passed his cigarette to her, and she accepted it with ease. She took a long drag of the dangerous smoke, letting the calming effect of the tobacco wash over her.

"Are you ready to talk about it yet?" She inquired lightly. Trying not to let on to how much this whole situation had upset her.

"There's nothing to talk about." He said defiantly, taking his cigarette back.

"So you're not gonna tell me why you unnecessarily flipped out on Kagome? I don't understand why her dating Kouga would bother you. She was right when she said it really isn't any of your business." She tried to keep her tone calm and free from accusation, knowing that if she didn't chose her words wisely, he was likely to shut down on her. Yet Kikyou couldn't help the hurt and anger that seeped into her heart. She wasn't an idiot by any means.

"I said there's nothing to talk about! I just can't stand Kouga, that's all. He's a jerk and Kagome could surely do better."

_'Like with you.'_ Giving up, Kikyou knew she'd never hear what she truly wanted Inuyasha to say. She wanted him to put her fears at rest, and take away all the insecurities that came along with trying to act like the fact that him and Kagome being best friends didn't bother her. For christ's sake he was living in her house!

She quickly made her way back over to Sango and Miroku, gathered her things, and headed back inside the school. They knew that Inuyasha probably wouldn't be returning before lunch was over, and Kagome had just disappeared with Kouga. The two exchanged worried looks as they feared for the future relationships of their best friends.

* * *

"Mama! Souta! Grandpa! I'm home!" Kicking off her shoes, Kagome threw her backpack to the side as she entered her house. She followed the sent of food coming from the kitchen, only to see her mother working hard and slaving over the stove.

"Oh Kagome dear! I'm glad you're home. I had to take an extra shift at the bar tonight, so I'll be needing you to keep an eye out for Souta okay? I made your favorite dinner as a thank you." Kagome watched as she placed the finishing touches on the meal and heading into her room to change.

Fixing herself a plate Kagome called her little brother down for dinner. Also making a plate for her grandfather, she made sure to put some dinner in a to-go container for her mom.

"Hey sis, where's Inuyasha?" The young boy asked between bites.

"Don't know. Don't care." She said curtly. She still wasn't over his little display in the hallway earlier today.

"Did you guys have another fight? What was it about this time?" Souta asked. Even though he loved both his sister and Inuyasha, he had to admit they were pretty dense. Even at eleven he could the pair liked each other, or possibly even more.

"Just Inuyasha being stupid that's all."

"I still say he's a hoodlum!" Grandpa said, finally putting in his two cents.

"Okay everyone I'm leaving now. Souta make sure you do all your homework, dad please don't try to use the stove without Kagome helping you, and Kagome please make sure I have a house to come back to when I get off work."

"Sure thing mom, your dinner is on the counter."

"Thank you dear." Kissing everyone goodbye, Kagome's mom stopped short when she realized there was another empty seat at the table, besides her own.

"Kagome, where's Inuyasha?"

"I'm right here, Ms. Higurashi." Inuyasha said coming into the kitchen. He walked over to the stove and made himself a plate and sat down in Ms. Higurashi's seat next to Grandpa, instead of his usual seat next to Kagome. Shaking her head at their antics Kagome's mother finally headed off to work.

Cleaning her plate and clearing the table, Kagome had to force Souta off his video games and onto his homework. After he was settled she brought her grandfather his medications and got him comfortable in the living room. Walking back into the kitchen she sighed at the huge mess everyone had made. It would take awhile before everything was cleaned up and she still had her own homework to do.

Kagome had fallen into her usual dish cleaning routine, when she noticed another pair of hands reaching into the sink to help her.

"Inuyasha? What are you doing?" She said surprised by his actions.

"I'm doing the dishes, what's it look like?" He said gruffly.

"You don't have to this you know. I can handle a few dishes on my own."

"I know."

"Then what are you still doing here?" She asked.

"Dammit Kagome, do you want me to go away that badly? If you don't want my help then just say so!" He yelled, getting frustrated with her questioning his intentions.

"I didn't say that, I just wanted to know what had gotten into you!"

"Maybe I'm trying to apologize to you!" Kagome halted her movements and her eyes went wide.

"You really mean it Inuyasha?" She said quietly. It was only once in a blue moon that Inuyasha tried to apologize, and even though the words "I'm sorry." would never fall from his lips, it was nice to know that he was trying to acknowledge that he was wrong.

"Yeah. I was being...an ass earlier. You can date Kouga all you want, I don't care." He said turning away to hide his mild blush. She giggled at him and it made him smile.

"Thanks Inuyasha." Bumping into his shoulder playfully he continued to smile as they finished cleaning the kitchen together.

"Keh. Whatever."

* * *

It was Friday night and Kagome had two hours to get ready before Kouga showed up to get her. It was weird, she was actually worried about what she should wear and how to do her hair. Though how she looked in front of Kouga had never mattered to her before tonight.

_Maybe it's because you feel bad that you only accepted this date out of spite. If Inuyasha hadn't egged you on, would you really be going out with Kouga right now?_

Kagome knew her subconscious was right. She had wanted to make Inuyasha jealous and deal him a little taste of his own medicine. Suddenly her nerves were replaced by an overwhelming sense of guilt. How could she have even think it was okay to play with Kouga's feelings like that?

"Kagome? Are you up here? Your grandpa let me in." Sango said walking into her best friend's room. She looked at the girl's sad visage and instantly became worried. Kagome was due to get picked up in a couple of hours by a very hot guy, and tears did not look good on a first date.

"Kagome what's wrong?" Side stepping around her question, Kagome yelled from her doorway down to her grandfather, reminding him that he should have asked her to go and answer the door.

"Okay you gonna tell me what's up?" Sango said pinning Kagome with a concerned look.

"I just don't know if I can go on that date now. I got to thinking and I don't know if it's a good idea to go." Kagome said solemnly.

"Why not? You've been looking forward to tonight all week, why the sudden change of heart?" Sango sat next to Kagome on the bed, putting her hand on her friend's shoulder to give her some measure of comfort.

"My feelings for Kouga aren't genuine. The only reason why I accepted the date was because I wanted to get a rise from Inuyasha, and now that I realized that I feel like a total bitch for thinking it was okay to play with his feelings. Both of their feelings actually."

"Look Kagome, I don't want you to give up on this date just yet. I'll help you with your hair and makeup and then you're gonna go out and have a good time. Kouga's a sweet guy when he's not being an egotistical ass." Sango said laughing as she wiped the last of Kagome's tears.

"You're right Sango. I'm gonna go out and try to have fun, but I still feel guilty about everything. I know no matter how hard I try, my feelings for Inuyasha will always hinder me from giving him a proper chance."

Unbeknownst to both girls, Inuyasha stood outside of Kagome's door, hearing their whole conversation from start to finish. He'd had every intention of leaving, but when Kagome had started talking about that bastard he had to know what they were talking about. Kagome's feelings for him were definitely not on the list of things he had mentally prepared himself to hear.

He silently crept away from the door, his heart pounding in his chest. Things had just gotten ten times more complicated in a matter of minutes. His phone vibrated in his pocket and Inuyasha cursed his awful luck.

_Can I see you tonight?_

_-Kikyou_

Closing his eyes Inuyasha didn't know what to do. Part of him wanted to see Kikyou, to have her presence wash over him so he could forget the conflicting feelings Kagome stirred within him. Yet the other part of him wanted nothing more than to walk up those stairs, hear Kagome confess her feelings to him, and kiss her until she realized that stupid asshole wouldn't be able to satisfy her half as much he could.

_'Satisfy her? What the hell is wrong with me?!'_ Shaking his head, Inuyasha needed something to distract him from his thoughts, but knew going to find solace in Kikyou would only bring more confusion to his heart. Dialing Miroku's number, Inuyasha quickly found himself at Naraku's house, drinking, smoking, and partying it up with the best of 'em!

This was definitely a welcomed distraction from the reality he'd be facing back home.

* * *

Hearing the doorbell Kagome scrambled doing last minute touches on her hair and makeup. Sango had curled her hair and she added an extra coat of mascara and gloss to her lips.

"So how do I look?" Kagome twirled in her dark blue dress giving Sango a full view of her outfit. She wore a dark denim jacket over the dress to keep herself warm, and sat on the bed to lace up her black booties, the heels adding three more inches to her height.

"You look amazing! I don't usually toot my own horn but: Toot! Toot!" The girls continued to laugh as Souta bounded up to her room, informing her that her date had arrived.

**.:...:...:..:.:..:**

Watching Kagome come down the stairs, Kouga didn't think he'd ever seen seen anyone more amazing, than the girl standing in front of him. He smiled and resisted the urge to pinch himself. Was it finally happening? Was he really going on a date with Kagome Higurashi? The girl who everyone in the world knew continued to pine helplessly over that loser Inuyasha?

"Hi Kouga." She said softly, a slight blush staining her cheeks.

"You look beautiful Kagome." He grabbed her hand and brought the soft appendage to his lips. Her blush intensified, and Kouga couldn't help but smirk at her reaction to him.

"T-thank you. You don't look half bad yourself." Unable to control the goofy smile spreading across his face, Kouga lead his date out of her home and towards his car. No matter what, he promised he'd make sure this was the best best date Kagome had ever been on.

**.:..:.:..:..:..:**

Kagome hated to admit it, but she was actually having a good time. They had went to see a scary movie upon her insistence, and even though Kouga hadn't wanted to watch it, he sucked it up for her. Kagome couldn't help but giggle every time he squeezed her hand or jumped from his seat.

It had to be the cutest thing she'd ever seen.

"I'm telling ya Kagome I wasn't scared. I just wanted to make sure you were paying attention to the movie."

"Yf course you weren't Kouga." She said smiling at him. He'd parked his car on the curb and got out to walk her back home. They walked hand in hand up the long flights of shrine stairs, a comfortable silence stretching between them. They finally made it to her front door and Kagome turned to face Kouga. Another smile slowly spreading across her face.

"I'm glad you agreed to come with me Kagome. I had a good time." Kouga said.

"I'm glad I did too." Slowly Kouga leaned into Kagome. His arms encircled her waist and he drew her closer to his chest. Kagome brought her arms around his neck, standing on her tip toes to meet him halfway. They were so close to each other, literally centimeters apart, when a loud crash brought them back to reality.

Turning her head to inspect the noise, Kagome fumed when she saw Inuyasha stepping out from the shadows.

"Inuyasha? What the hell are you doing?" If it wasn't so late she would have screamed at him!

"Sorry. Didn't meen to interwupt yur wittle date, Ka-go-me, I just wanna go inside." He said slurring his words terribly. It was evident to anyone watching him that he was under the influence, if his bloodshot eyes and uncoordinated steps had anything to say about it.

"Where's your key?" She asked him, growing more irritated by the second.

"Don't know. Don't care. Want sleep." He said plopping on the ground, he leaned his head against the side of the house, looking prepared to go to sleep right then and there.

"I'm so sorry Kouga. I really need to help him inside." Kagome said giving said him an apologetic look.

"Don't worry about it Kagome, I'll call you tomorrow." He leaned in quickly pecking her lips before smirking and turning to walk away. Another blush spread across her cheeks and she felt a goofy grin on her lips coming to match.

"Okay Inuyasha, let's get you inside." Tossing his arms around her shoulders, she lead the drunken boy into the dark house, shutting and locking the door behind her.

* * *

"Okay tell me everything!" Sango gushed on Monday at school. Her and Kagome were walking to their lockers as the brunette teen tried to squeeze her bestie for more info.

"There's really nothing to tell. We went to the movies and he took me to that new burger place, then he walked me home, and we almost kissed, but Inuyasha ruined it." Kagome said irritably.

"What did he do, drag you inside by your hair?" Sango said laughing at the image her brain had just conjured up.

"No, he came stumbling out of the bushes like a drunken idiot! He completely ruined the mood. Then I spent the entire next day nursing his hangover."

"Well excuse the fuck outta me Kagome. Didn't me to interrupt your little date." Inuyasha said walking over to catch up with her and Sango. Kikyou walked quietly by his side.

"You know that's exactly what you said when I was pulling your ass out the bushes!" Inuyasha blushed as Sango began to laugh at him, He even heard Kikyou giggling beside him.

"Keh, whatever."

"Hey are we all still going to Naraku's rave on saturday? I haven't been out in two weeks. I'm going through withdrawal guys!" Sango said exasperated.

"I'm down." Kikyou said chiming in.

"Yeah me too." Inuyasha said looking to Kagome, making sure she also wanted to go. She nodded her head in agreement and the bell finally rang signaling the start of class. The group of teens went their separate ways, but Kagome was a little more than surprised when she turned around to the sound of Kikyou calling her name.

"Can I talk to you for a sec Kagome?" The girl asked a little out of breath.

"Right now? I really should get to class. I don't want Mr. Myoga to yell at me." Kagome said shyly. No matter how long the two had been friends Kagome always became insecure when she was in Kikyo's presence. As children they were often mistaken for sisters, due to their uncanny resemblance, but Kagome never saw the similarities between them. Kikyou was beautiful, confident, and everything that Kagome wasn't.

_'No wonder Inuyasha chose her over you.'_

"I promise to quick okay? I just...wanted to ask you, about Inuyasha."

"W-why? Is something the matter?" Kagome stuttered out. Oh God, she was so not prepared to have this conversation!

"I don't know." She whispered. "Everything seemed fine. Then...you agreed to that date with Kouga and you seem to be the only thing Inuyasha can think about."

"Kikyou...I never meant-"

"I know. I'm not blaming you for anything. You're so transparent Kagome, you wear your heart on your sleeve. I've always known, even back in middle school, that you loved Inuyasha." Kagome's eyes widened and her breathe caught in her throat.

_'She knows! Christ she knows!'_

"I-I'm not trying to step on your toes! Honest Kikyou." Kagome said quickly. Her and Kikyou had been friends for a long time, she wasn't ready to throw away their friendship, over the issues concerning her love life.

"I know Kagome. I know you'd never do that to me." Smiling fondly at the girl, Kikyou enveloped her in a tight hug. Bringing her arms up Kagome fought the urge to cry, as she returned Kikyou's embrace. Although she was happy that Kikyou wasn't upset with her, she had to know.

"Why Kikyou? If you knew how I felt, why did you start dating him...after you came back?" Kagome said, never dropping her arms from around her friend's waist.

"Because I loved him too." She whispered. "When I came back, I was fully prepared to see you guys together, cause no matter how much he tries to deny it...Inuyasha feels something for you too."

"Kikyou?"

"That's why I'm giving you the opportunity, to be with him how you want." Stepping away from her, Kikyou couldn't help but laugh at the look of absolute shock on Kagome's face.

"I don't understand..."

"I'm giving you until graduation to sleep with Inuyasha." If Kagome had been drinking anything she surely would've choked.

"Y-you can't be serious!"

"I'm very serious. You can have one night with him and I'm giving you until we walk across that stage to do it, but just know, that after they call our names, and hand us our certificates, the deal is off."

"I-I can't do that...he's your boyfriend. It wouldn't be right, and I'm sure he wouldn't even agree to anything like that. He really does love you Kikyou." Her last words were soft, barely audible, and Kikyou had to wonder, just how much seeing her and Inuyasha together had damaged Kagome's heart.

"Whether he agrees to it or not isn't my problem. This offer is for you and only you. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, but the offer is valid until graduation." Giving Kagome one last smile, she gave her a friendly pat on the shoulder, a gesture to the girl that no matter what she decided she wouldn't be angry. Kikyou turned to walk away to head to class, when she stopped to say one last thing to her friend.

"Don't tell me, okay?"

"Huh?"

"Whatever you decide, don't tell me. I don't want to know...and make sure, that Inuyasha knows that too." Finally taking her leave Kikyou left Kagome standing there, looking after her dumbly in the now empty hallway.

_'Now there's way, I'll be able to focus in the rest of my classes!' _

Letting out an exasperated sigh, Kagome decided to go home and take the rest of the day off. She had a lot of thinking to do.

* * *

The music pounded through the speakers and the lights were enough to practically blind her. Sweaty bodies brushed up against hers and she was suddenly feeling very claustrophobic. Turning around Kagome watched as Sango and Miroku made out in a dark corner of the room. She hadn't seen any sign of Kikyou or Inuyasha for an hour and she was getting tired of being pushed around.

Making her way up the stairs, Kagome finally found a dark, empty room to sit in. Laying on the bed Kagome let the rhythmic beat of the bass bring her comfort. She hadn't taken or drank anything since they'd arrived and honestly she really didn't want to.

_'I shouldn't even be here.' _She thought to herself. Her mom had taken the night off after her grandfather had had another one of his episodes. There were days when he was perfectly fine, he remembered everything, and it was as if they had never found out about his sickness. But then there were days like today, days were he didn't seem to respond to anyone, days were he could barely remember his own name. Her mom had been taking double and triple shifts at both her jobs to make ends meat for the family, while still trying to pay for her grandpa's medications and hospital bills.

_'I should've stayed home to help her, but I...can't stand to see him like that."_

Kagome was brought out of her pity party when the door to the room swung open. The person stumbled inside obviously on something and more than likely lost.

"Hey I've been looking for you!" The boy said loudly over the music. He shut the door shrouding them in darkness, and Kagome was surprised when he made it to the bed without falling.

"You should've told me you up here, I wouldn't have let you sit here by yourself." He said, his words slurring together. It was obvious, from the low octave of his voice, the guy thought he was being seductive, and if Kagome had an ounce of anything in her system, she probably would have thought so too.

"Look I don't know you okay. I'm not who-" Kagome was cut off by the force of his lips coming down on hers. His hands came to rest on her hips and slowly made their way under her shirt. Kagome pushed away from him suddenly, their lips disengaging with a loud _pop!_

"I don't think I'm who you're looking for." Kagome said gently. Standing, she moved to exit the room when the guy grabbed her wrist. Standing along with her, he brought his hand up to caress her cheek in the dark.

"Yes you are." His voice were clear and strong. His words a lot easier to understand than they had been, and Kagome finally realized who she was talking to.

"Inuyasha?" She called out. He chuckled at her, the vibrations coming from his chest ringing throughout her body. He dropped his head placing heated kisses across her neck and shoulders. Kagome let her head roll to side, allowing him better access to continue his ministrations.

_'You shouldn't be doing this.' _Said the little voice inside her head.

_'You're about to sleep with Kikyou's boyfriend.'_ It warned her. Suddenly her shirt was gone and she realized Inuyasha's was as well. He pressed their bodies close together and Kagome moaned at the contact of his heated skin on hers.

_'She gave me permission.' _She tried to reason with herself. She landed on the bed with a bounce, and more of their clothes were tossed away.

_'You aren't this person!' _The small voice screamed.

_'But I want to know. I want to know what it's like to be loved by Inuyasha.'_

Kagome became lost in the feel on their bodies tangled together. She screamed out his name, trying to show him through her actions just how much she loved him, how much she'd _always_ love him. Her back arched as the waves of pleasure crashed over her, with Inuyasha following soon after.

"Ki-Kikyou..." He whispered brokenly.

The euphoria Kagome had previously been basking in, was shattered the moment those three syllables fell from Inuyasha's lips. Her body stilled and she felt as if she was being suffocated. It was too hot in the room and no matter how many breathes she took, it seemed as if it would never be enough.

He hadn't known it was her. He thought she was Kikyou.

In a raw act of pleasure he'd called out someone else's name.

God she felt like a fool. She heard him begin to snore lightly beside her, and she figured now was as good time as any to make her escape. She shifted from under his arms to look for her clothes, when he suddenly pulled her back, snuggling up against her.

"Stay." He whispered in her hair. The simple gesture was enough to break her heart.

_'I highly doubt you'd want me in the morning.'_

Waiting again for the sound of his soft snores, Kagome tried once more to reach her clothes. Making it off the bed without him waking, Kagome finally allowed her tears to begin to fall. She looked over to his slumbering face and in that moment she wanted to regret every day, every minute, every second she'd spent loving him. She wanted to hate him.

Walking over to his sleeping form, Kagome placed a lingering kiss on his lips. She could never hate him, not matter what he did, he'd always have a special place in her heart.

She left the room, making sure she didn't look back at him. Because she knew if she did, she'd never be able to leave.

* * *

**Over 6,000 words, whoo! This is a long chapter, but I'm actually happy with the outcome. I've been waiting since the beginning of the story to write this chapter! ****Only two more to go before the story is over.**

**Please REVIEW and tell me what you think :)**


	5. Kikyou

**Kikyou Hayashi**

* * *

"Sister! Sister Kikyou wake up please! You promised to take me to the park today." Kikyou groaned loudly as she placed her thick blankets over her face. Her throat was dry, her head was pounding, and her little sister's yelling was not helping.

"Kaede can't you wait a little longer? I'm not feeling well." She had planned to spend her Sunday nursing her hangover and getting ready for school tomorrow.

"It's already 2 in the afternoon! I've been waiting all day." Kaede said with a pout. Unable to say no to her sister's puppy dog eyes, Kikyou finally conceded to her sister's pleas. Watching Kaede bound out of the room Kikyou instantly regretted her decision to leave the comfort of her bed.

_'Maybe if I call Inuyasha he'll suffer with me.' _Although she slightly doubted he'd answer her call. They were still at odds with each other, and hadn't spoken in a few days. She'd even gone out with Kagura Fujiwari last night instead of with Inuyasha and the gang. Things were awkward between them and the tension she felt when he was near was borderline unbearable.

_'What if this is it for us? I don't know if I could handle it...'_

Ever since she had moved back here for high school, she couldn't think of a time when she wasn't close with Inuyasha. He was always by her side, and she by his.

_'What would I do if he decides to leave me? What would I do if he leaves me for...Kagome?'_

Just the thought sent a painful cord through her chest. Kagome was her good friend and she loved her dearly, but she wouldn't give up on Inuyasha. No matter what happened she wouldn't let Inuyasha go without a fight.

_'Kagome isn't like that and you know it. She's never done one thing to come between you and Inuyasha.' _

Kikyou suddenly felt guilty. She knew Kagome was a good person, and she was the idiot who gave her permission to sleep with her boyfriend. Though for the past couple weeks the girl had been acting strange. She rarely spoke to Inuyasha anymore and Kikyou could tell Kagome had been trying to avoid her. _'Maybe she's already acted on my offer.' _Stretching out her achy muscles Kikyou pushed all her thoughts of Kagome away and decided against calling Inuyasha. He'd speak to her when he was ready, she just had give him more time.

* * *

_'I hate Mondays.' _Inuyasha thought as he sat in class only half listening to the teacher. So many other things were preoccupying his mind, he couldn't find the energy care about dominant and recessive genes at this point. He let his head fall to the desk as thoughts not pertaining to biology raced to the forefront of his brain.

He hadn't talked to Kikyou in awhile. She seemed to avoid him when they were at school, she didn't go out with them on the weekends, and anytime they spoke the conversation was strained and awkward.

_'What's happening to us?' _He thought solemnly. Was his relationship with Kikyou really coming to an end? Was she still mad at him because he had been upset over Kouga's crush on Kagome? He thought Kikyou understood his relationship with Kagome. They were best friends and he had simply been looking out for her...hadn't he?

He was still so unsure about his feelings for Kagome. She had always had a special place in his heart. She was always by his side, she understood him better than anyone else. When Sesshomaru kicked him down Kagome was always there to pick him up, to reassure him that even though his brother didn't, she cared about him. She healed him. And now she wasn't speaking to him. She could barely look at him, and when he touched her she flinched as if it burned, and it all started after that night at the party.

_'Just another name on the long list of relationships I've fucked up.' _Inuyasha thought angrily.

He had first stumbled into the room to be alone, and was surprised when he saw it was occupied. In the dim light he'd assumed the girl with long legs and raven hair was Kikyou. He hadn't seen Kagome all night and figured she'd decided not to come. But when she spoke to him he'd quickly realized who he was _really_ standing with in that room.

_'I don't know what came over me. I'd like to blame it on the alcohol, on the drugs, but the truth of the matter is I wanted Kagome that night. I've wanted her for a long time. When she didn't resist me...I knew this was my chance to have her.'_

Inuyasha knew he was being selfish in his desires, but he didn't care. There were no words to explain how it felt to kiss her, to hold her, to touch her. Being with Kagome in that way had made him feel...different. He was happy, happier than he'd been in a long time.

The bell rang and Inuyasha began to gather his things. Looking up he saw Kagome dash out the door, with Sango close on her heels. He sighed and waited for Miroku in the hall. He knew he was an ass and if Kagome and Kikyou never forgave him, he couldn't say he wouldn't understand why.

_'I just don't want them to leave me.'_

* * *

Kagome ran into the bathroom as soon the final bell rang. She'd been feeling nauseous since she left for school that morning. Emptying what little she had in her stomach, Kagome sat on her knees in front of the toilet.

"Kagome! Are you okay?"

"I'm over here Sango. I'm fine." She tried to say with conviction. Though her voice sounded weak even in her own ears.

"Are you sure? You haven't been looking well and now you're puking at school. You'd tell me if something was wrong right?" Kagome grimaced at the stern look on her friend's face. She hadn't told Sango about what had happened with Inuyasha, and she wasn't sure that she wanted to.

Inuyasha's unintentional rejection still left a bitter taste in her mouth and she wasn't ready to talk about it. The thought alone made fresh tears well up in her eyes and her throat began to burn with the effort to keep them at bay. She wanted to hate him for what he did to her, for using her.

_'But I can't do it. No matter how I slice it, I did this to myself. I should've walked away from him, but the urge to be with him was so strong...I couldn't go on without knowing what it felt like to be touched by him in that way.'_

Kagome flushed the toilet and moved passed Sango to wash her mouth out in the sink. If she was being completely honest with herself, Kagome knew these weren't normal flu symptoms like she'd been trying to pass them off as. She was late, and that thought alone sent a nervous chill down her spine.

_'I don't even want to think about it. Graduation is in a couple months and I've made it so far...I can't afford for this to be happening to me.' _

Kagome rinsed her face and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was a mess, her eyes had dark circles, her skin looked pastey, she looked as terrible as she felt. She saw Sango watching her worriedly in mirror, and as much as she didn't want to, Kagome knew she had to tell her. Everything was spiraling out of control so fast and she really needed a friend right now.

"Sango...I'm late."

* * *

"So what's going on with you and Kikyou?" Miroku asked Inuyasha as they sat under their favorite tree for lunch. Kagome and Sango had ditched for the rest of the day and Kikyou was eating lunch with Kagura, leaving the two boys by themselves.

"I don't even know. It's like one day she woke up and decided she couldn't stand me anymore." Inuyasha said taking a bite out of his sandwich. All though Miroku knew the ins and outs of his relationship with Kikyou, he had been hesitant to let Miroku know about his current situation with Kagome.

"You think she's still mad about the whole Kagome and Kouga thing."

"I don't think so...everything is just so complicated between me and her all of the sudden. I just want things to go back to the way they used to be."

"Are we still talking about Kikyou?" Miroku said with a knowing look. Though his best friend hadn't spilled the beans on his troubles with Kagome, he was still very aware of the tension that seemed to be building between them. Inuyasha was more transparent than he'd like to admit, and the fact that he was dating Sango helped a little too.

"W-who else would I be talking about?!" He said with a hot blush staining his cheeks.

"You tell me. I'm always here if you want to talk, you know that." Inuyasha sighed, a pained look etched on his brow. He was caught between his need for privacy and feeling like he was going to explode if he didn't let out everything he'd been holding in.

Miroku continued to wait patiently for Inuyasha to speak. The guy could be so stubborn sometimes, but when Inuyasha let out a long breath, and looked Miroku right in his eyes he was not prepared for what his friend had to say.

"I slept with Kagome." The shock was evident on Miroku's face. The boy's mouth kept opening as if he meant to say something, but no words left his lips. Inuyasha knew he was fucked. When _Miroku_ was left speechless, he knew the odds of things returning to normal were not in his favor.

"Would you like to repeat that? I don't think I heard you right." Smacking him on the back of the head Inuyasha pinned his friend with a glare.

"You heard me idiot! I'm not saying it again!"

"When did this happen?"

"At that party a couple weeks ago."

"So that's why Kagome has been so standoffish with you?" Inuyasha nodded while rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. Knowing he'd come this far Inuyasha decided not withhold any information from Miroku.

"It also may have to do with fact that I called out Kikyou's name." Inuyasha lowered his head in shame, and this time _he_ on the receiving end of a smack.

"Inuyasha you have reached a new level of stupid. Why would you do that knowing you were sleeping with Kagome? Do you have any idea to how that must've made her feel?" Miroku ranted angrily. Kagome was a sweet girl and they'd been friends since middle school. She was the sister he never had, and it pissed him off to know that someone had hurt her, even if that someone was Inuyasha.

"I know that already! I'm a jackass and a coward. I heard her talking to Sango before she went on her date with Kouga. She said that she'd only accepted it to spite me, because she loves me. She fucking loves me Miroku! How am I supposed to deal with that? Especially when I feel so...confused. When I realized it was her in that room at the party I wanted her so fucking bad, but I knew I couldn't face her in the morning. I didn't want to hurt her and I fucked up anyway."

Putting a hand on Inuyasha's shoulder Miroku felt sorry for his friend. He'd suspected for a long time that the guy had feelings for Kagome, but his infatuation with Kikyou had always kept him from, who Miroku thought, was the girl he should truly be with.

"Inuyasha you need to get your feelings together, and realize that you're going to hurt one of them no matter what you decide. They both care for you, now you have to chose who you want. Kikyou or Kagome? "

"Can't I just have both of them?" Inuyasha whined.

"Unfortunately that's not an option my friend.

* * *

"Kaede I'm home!" Kikyou yelled as she kicked off her shoes and locked the door behind her. Walking into the small kitchen Kikyou set down the groceries Mrs. Latocki was kind enough to give her. After paying for the deposit on her cap and gown, Kikyou was stripped of what little cash she had left, meaning she'd have to go back to work soon. The thought alone sent a chill down her spine, though she couldn't dwell on it for long with Kaede running into the kitchen talking a mile a minute.

"Sister I learned so much in school today! We started learning multiplication and division, and I got some new books to read, and I made a new friend at recess her name is Rin! Then we drew pictures in art class! I'm really proud of mine, you wanna to see it?"

"Sure." Kikyou said with a soft smile on her face. The eight year old girl could be a lot to handle at times, but Kaede was the only family she had left and she loved her dearly. One day she hoped to move out of their dangerous neighborhood and shabby one bedroom apartment. They had the bare essentials and while that was enough for Kikyou, she knew her sister deserved better.

"Here you go!" Looking at the picture Kikyou saw that her and Kaede were in the park. She was pushing her younger sister on the swings, while two taller stick figures sat on a bench next to them, huge smiles drawn on their faces.

"Who are these people Kaede?"

"That's mommy and daddy! I never met them so I hope that's what they look like."

Smiling sadly at the girl Kikyou patted her head affectionately, "you did a great job with this Kaede. How 'bout I put this on the fridge? That way if someone comes in the first thing they'll see is your beautiful picture." Squealing in delight Kaede hugged her sister and then ran off to finish her homework. Kikyou smiled sadly as she continued to eye the drawing.

Kaede always talked about how much she wished she had a mommy and daddy like the other kids at her school. Sometimes she would even ask Kikyou about their parents, and Kikyou felt more and more guilty every time she had to lie to her baby sister.

_'What am I supposed to tell her? That my dad was a prick and our mother was a whore? That even if mom were alive, she'd never be able to tell her who her father was?'_

After her mother had found out about her father's affair she'd put him out, and with him went their only source of income. Hitomi, Kikyou's mother, had dropped out of highschool when she was 16 after becoming pregnant with Kikyou. With no college degree or high school diploma the single mother had no other options but to turn to the streets, selling her body in order to provide for her daughter.

_'I remember when she got pregnant with Kaede. I was so excited to be a big sister.' _

Along with learning about her pregnancy the young mother of two also found out she was HIV positive, and without the money to afford the expensive drugs, she'd passed on the disease to her youngest child. Kaede was two when Hitomi caught pneumonia. Too weak to fight the illness, she quickly passed away. Kikyou's eyes misted at the memory as she envisioned her twelve year old self crying and pleading with the doctors to save her mom. After the funeral the sisters moved in with their grandmother, but the elderly woman died in her sleep only two years later, leaving Kikyou and Kaede without a place to stay.

_'If it wasn't for Mrs. Latocki downstairs, who knows where we'd be.'_

The kind hearted woman had taken them in without a second thought. The already mother of three, raised the two girls as her own, until Kikyou had found her owns means of making money and rented the apartment where they now lived. Though Kikyou wasn't proud of the things she did it kept food on the table, payed for the rent, and allowed her to afford Kaede's expensive prescriptions. A vibration in her pocket caught off her thoughts and she groaned at the name on her screen.

_Meet me at my house at midnight. There's a job for you._

_- Kagura_

Hurrying with dinner Kikyou quickly fed Kaede and put her to bed. Tucking her in she kissed the small girl on the cheek, before letting her know she'd be leaving for the night.

"I have to work tonight, but I'll be back in time to wake you for school okay?"

"Okay."

"You know the drill. Don't answer the door, if you hear people yelling just gnore them, if you hear the loud popping sounds hide under the bed and don't come out until I come and get you. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Smiling Kikyou gave her sister one last kiss before heading off into the night.

* * *

Walking up to the dark house, Kikyou pulled her coat tighter around herself as the cool night air chilled her to the bone. Knocking on the door she waited for what felt like forever before Kagura finally opened the door.

"You're late." Kagura hissed.

"The buses don't run after ten." Kikyou said calmly.

"Just be lucky my dad isn't in a foul mood tonight, or he'd have had both our asses!" Kikyou only rolled her eyes and followed behind her friend. She could care less about her father's mood when she should be home taking care of Kaede.

"Well, I see you've finally decided to grace us with your presence Kikyou." Naraku smirked at the girl from behind his desk, looking her up and down. Kikyou grimaced as he blatantly undressed her with his eyes. She'd started working for Naraku her sophomore year, after she befriended Kagura. Since their first encounter Kikyou knew Naraku lusted for her. He would make suggestive comments or even go as far as to lightly touch her. Though his actions made her uncomfortable the money she made was too good to walk away from, and so she put up with his unwelcome advances.

"What's the job? I'd like to get back home before the sun rises." Kikyou said snidely.

"Eager tonight are we? Take this to the pier downtown. You'll be meeting one of my most respected clients there. Kagura will drive you. When you're done give me half the money. The rest will be split amongst the both of you." Kikyou stared wide eyed at the huge packs of white powder that sat upon Naraku's desk. There had to be at least 5 Kilos worth. Walking up to his desk she put her hands on the bags when she felt Naraku grab her wrists. His touch was light and caressing, and it made her skin crawl. She quickly pulled away from him, making sure not to look back at him as she walked out his office.

* * *

"Kagome Higurashi?" The nurse called out. Kagome stood nervously following the nurse into an examination room.

"So Miss Higurashi what brings you in today?" She said politely. Kagome fidgeted with the ends of her hair, the words she needed to speak unable flow from her mouth.

"I...uh..."

"Kagome I can't help you unless you tell me what's going on. You're eighteen now so whatever you say is confidential. I can't tell your parents anything unless you want me to. They don't even have to know you made an appointment today." The young woman said comfortingly. Kagome felt slightly better knowing her mom wouldn't find out, but it still didn't help make what she had to say any easier.

"I...I need a pr-pregancy test." She choked out. Her face heated with embarrassment and she suddenly felt the need to cry. She was eighteen years old for God's sake! She should not be dealing with this sort of thing! She should be at school hanging out with her friends, cramming for tests, and planning her weekend.

"How long has it been since you missed your period?"

"Almost three weeks." Looking up Kagome caught the look of pity that flashed across the nurse's face, and it made her stomach knot.

"Okay I'll be right back. Just make yourself comfortable." The woman gave her a sad smile and only when she heard the door close, did Kagome let the river of tears flow down her cheeks.

* * *

Kikyou waited nervously in the bleachers behind the gym. Taking out her makeup compact she carefully inspected her face and hair. Inuyasha had texted her saying he needed to talk to her, it was going on a week since they last spoke and she wanted to look her best for him. Putting away the small mirror Kikyou took a deep breath. Why was she so bloody nervous? If there was anyone she was most comfortable around it was Inuyasha.

So why did the thought of seeing him scare her so much?

"Kikyou?" Turning she watched as Inuyasha slowly made his way towards her. The butterflies in her stomach increased and she couldn't help the goofy smile that was starting to spread across her face.

_'I'm so happy to see him.'_

"I'm glad you agreed to meet me Kikyou." Inuyasha said taking a seat next to his girlfriend. It took him all morning to summon the courage to send that text to her, and it took a kick in the ass from Miroku in order for him to follow through with his plan to meet her.

"I'm just glad you wanted to see me." Kikyou whispered. In all honesty she didn't know if Inuyasha would ever talk to her again. They'd never spent more than 24 hours apart and waiting for him to reach out to her was slowing taking its toll.

"Of course I wanted to see you!" He said vehemently, "I figured you were still mad at me. I know I've been acting like a jackass lately and I just want to...say...sorry." Inuyasha blushed hotly and turned away from her. She smiled sweetly at his antics and grabbed his hands in order to get his attention. When he turned to face her again she leaned forward to place a tender kiss on his lips.

Inuyasha returned her kiss with fervor. Her arms made their way around his neck, while his fingers got lost in her hair. He pulled away gently to catch his breath, and realized that he'd just made what he was about to do ten times harder.

"Inuyasha? What's wrong?" Kikyou said worriedly. Why did he pull away from her? He'd apologized, she forgave him, everything was good between them...right?

"Kikyou, look I..." Inuyasha trailed off not knowing where to start. There were so many things he had to say, yet his brain couldn't formulate the words he needed to communicate. He grabbed her face and planted a powerful kiss on her lips, prying open her mouth with his tongue. Actions spoke louder than words, and he poured his heart into that kiss. All the love and regret that he had, all the apologies that he'd never be able to give. It was only when _she _pulled away that he found his voice.

"Kikyou I'm breaking up with you." Her world stopped spinning and suddenly she couldn't breathe. It was as if the sky had fallen upon her and everything she thought she knew about her life was wrong. This could not be happening to her.

"You don't mean that." She whispered. Inuyasha could hear her heart breaking in every syllable she spoke, and it drove the knife that much further into his chest.

"Please forgive me. It's not you, I swear it's not you." The tears began pouring down her face against her will. She sobbed as Inuyasha pulled her into his arms, rubbing her back gently and stroking her hair. How could he do this to her? Didn't he know how much she loved him?

"Why? Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because I...I don't know if I can love you the way you need me to anymore." Her tears increased ten fold and she was sure she'd just heard her heart snap in two.

"Please don't do this to me Inuyasha. Please don't leave me!" She grabbed his shirt, bunching it in her hands. Her knuckles turned white with the strength of her grip, for she feared if she let go, it would shatter the delusion that this was simply a nightmare she'd soon be waking up from.

"I'm so sorry Kiks." Using her old nickname Inuyasha only held onto her tighter, he sat there consoling her, rocking her, and whispering words of regret in her ear, for it was the only thing he could do for her.

* * *

"Kagome I got your message! When you didn't come to bio I was worried about you." Sango said. She'd practically ran from gym to meet Kagome in the girl's bathroom down the hall, but a sick feeling settled itself in her stomach at the look on Kagome's face.

"Kagome...what did the doctor say?" She said apprehensively. The tears made their way down Kagome's face and she began to fear the worst.

_'This can't be happening to her. Not to Kagome.'_

"I'm pregnant." Rushing to console her friend Sango let Kagome cry on her shoulder. She couldn't imagine what the girl was going through, and as much as she hated to admit it, she was glad it wasn't happening to her.

"Kagome what are you gonna do? What are you gonna tell your mom?"

"I don't know. If I tell my mom she'll be so disappointed in me. I can't handle that Sango. I can't handle _this!" _Kagome said gesturing to her still flat tummy.

"You know I'm always here for you." Sango tried to reassure her. Kagome gave her an appreciative smile, but unfortunately Sango's support wasn't enough to make everything okay again.

"Um Kagome...who's the father? Is it Kouga?" That's right. Eventually she'd have to tell Inuyasha about the baby. A baby he didn't even know he created.

"No it's not Kouga." Kagome said, her voice full of shame. As much as she loved Sango she just didn't want to tell her. She didn't want to tell anyone. She felt so dirty, so ashamed. Finally turning to face her friend, Kagome knew she had to say something. She couldn't do this alone.

"It's Inuyasha. Inuyasha is the father of my baby."

* * *

"Ah it's nice to see you again Kikyou." Naraku purred. When she'd gotten his text she'd had half a mind to ignore him. After three days her wounds from Inuyasha's heart break were far from healing. It took everything she had just to get out bed in the morning and she'd even gone as far as to cut off contact with Miroku, Sango, and Kagome. She couldn't risk running into Inuyasha and having him see her like this.

"Where's Kagura?" Kagura always did jobs with her. It was strange that she wasn't here, which immediately set off alarms in Kikyou's mind.

"Her presence isn't needed. The job I have for you is special, and you're the only one capable of handling it." The older man eyed her lecherously and began to rise from behind his desk. Kikyou took tentative steps backwards, strategically trying to move herself as close to the door as possible.

"What do you want?" Her voice sounded strong, way stronger than she felt. As he moved closer to her she began to feel suffocated and fear began knot in her belly.

"You." Kikyou made a break for the door, but already sensing her motives Naraku was one step ahead of her. He caught her by the back of her coat and slammed her face first into the wall. Black circles began to dot her vision as she fought to stay conscious. Flipping her around Naraku forced a sloppy kiss onto her lips. She pushed him away and tried to scream, but his large hands caught her around the throat and she clawed at his wrists to force him to let go of her.

He punched her in the face and she fell to the ground. Grabbing her by her hair Naraku threw her on his desk, securing both her wrists in one hand while ripping her clothes off with the other.

"You always looked like the kind of girl who liked it rough." He growled licking the shell of her ear. Tears pricked behind her eye lids but she refused to let them fall.

"Please! Please don't do this!" She begged as she felt the evidence of his arousal poking her thigh. As more of their clothes were shed Kikyou could only close her eyes and pretend that it was all a bad dream. The tears she'd desperately tried to keep at bay began to flow down her cheeks and all she wanted in that moment was to be in Inuyasha's arms.

_'Inuyasha please come save me.'_

But her prayers fell on deaf ears. The sun had finally begun to rise and after hours of abuse she gathered enough strength to make it back to her home, back to her sister. Kikyou sat in the shower for hours. Turning the temperature all the way up until the hot water raised welts on her skin, but nothing she did erased the taint she was covered in. She rubbed herself raw, yet she could't erase the feel of Naraku's hands from her flesh.

"Kikyou! Sister please come out!" Kaede yelled. Kikyou covered her ears to drown out the sound of her sister's crying.

"Go away! Just leave me alone Kaede!" She screamed as more tears made their way down her face. Why? Why did God hate her? What had she done to deserve a fate as cruel as this?

* * *

"Hey have you guys seen Kikyou lately?" Inuyasha asked as he walked towards his small group of friends. Kikyou hadn't shown up to school in days and he was starting to worry about her. He'd even asked Kagura if she'd seen her around, but she hadn't spoken to Kikyou either.

"I'm sure she's fine Inuyasha." Kagome said quietly. She looked up from her lunch and found the surprised look on his face amusing. Though she was still hurt and confused, she figured now was as good as time as any to start rebuilding their broken relationship. She'd heard about his break up with Kikyou and she knew he'd be needing a friend.

"That doesn't look fine to me." Following the path of Miroku's eyes they saw Kikyou cutting across the courtyard. Her face was free of any make up, her clothes hung off her body loosely, and her once waist length hair barely touched her shoulders. Inuyasha shot up from his seat, jumping over the lounging students in his haste to catch up with her. Kagome felt Miroku and Sango's pitiful gazes watching her, but she ignored them.

_'Even though they broke up Inuyasha still cares for Kikyou, and she undoubtedly still cares for him. They have a special bond that no one can come between.'_ Putting a hand on her belly she let out a heavy sigh. _'Not even me.'_

**.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.**

"Kikyou! Kikyou wait up!" Inuyasha panted as ran to catch up with Kikyou. When she didn't seem like she was going to stop he gabbed her arm to get her attention, and was shocked at her violent reaction to him. She screamed and pulled her arm out of his grip, the look of fear in her eyes scaring him.

"Kikyou what's going on? Are you okay." He made to step toward her but she only moved away from him. He reached for her but she smacked his away before he could get too close. He suddenly felt an overwhelming amount of guilt. Had he done this to her? Had he damaged her this much?

"Don't touch me Inuyasha." Kikyou knew coming to school was a bad idea.

"Kikyou...tell me what's wrong. If you have a problem I want to help you." He said sincerely. A look of hurt flashed across his face when she laughed at him mockingly.

"Help me? How in the hell do you suppose you're gonna help me, huh Inuyasha? You think a few sweet words and gentle caresses is going to make everything okay? Nothing is okay Inuyasha, nothing you do or say is going to make things okay ever again!"

"I never meant to hurt you and no matter what you think is the truth I still care about you!"

"Liar!" She screamed. Tears blurred her vision and wanted nothing more than slam his face into the wall beside her. "Don't you understand Inuyasha? Can you even comprehend how much I loved you? How much I needed you?! I fucking needed you to save me and you weren't there!"

Inuyasha tried to step towards her again, but the slap Kikyou delivered across his face stopped him in his tracks.

"I hate you."

"Kikyou, I'm so sorry."

"That's not enough anymore Inuyasha. It'll never be enough." Rubbing her face Kikyou ran away from Inuyasha, away from her school, away from her friends, away from the life she thought she knew.

That night she went back to Naraku's house. She needed something, anything, to take the pain away. He promised her an escape so delicious she'd be coming back for more. And she did. In exchange for her body Naraku gave her release: A belt on her arm and a needle in her vein. Soon she couldn't live without it. When she was high in the clouds nothing could touch her, it was only when she came crashing back to the earth that it hurt.

* * *

Kaede watched as her sister turned into a monster. The loving, caring, older sister Kaede had always known was turning into one of those scary people she always saw hanging out on the street when she was walking home from school. All Kikyou did was lay in bed and tie belts around her arms. Kikyou never let her see what happened after that.

Kikyou always yelled at her now. She never used to yell.

The little girl tensed when her older sister walked out of their bedroom. She had a duffle bag in her hand and Kaede feared that maybe her sister would leave her. No matter what happened she didn't want Kikyou to go! Because then she'd be all alone.

"Kikyou are you going to leave me?" She whispered when her sister got close. The older girl kneeled down and pulled her baby sister into a hug. It was the first time in weeks that Kikyou had touched her without hitting her, and Kaede relished in the feeling of having the loving sister she'd always known come back into her life.

"No matter what happens I'll always be with you Kaede. Even if you can't touch me, or see me, or hear me, I'll always be right here." She placed her hand over her sister's heart and tears began fall down her face. "I need you to be strong for me Kaede. Can you do that?" The little girl nodded as tears welled up in her own eyes.

"What's going on sister?"

"This bag is for you Kaede. It has everything you need in it. You're gonna go stay with Mrs. Latocki for awhile. She'll take care of you just like she used to remember? Be a good girl for her and remember that no matter what I'll always love you okay?" Kikyou's voice broke as she pulled her little sister into another hug. It was last time she'd ever get to see her baby sister again, the last time she'd ever hear her voice, or see her smile, but she knew this was for the best.

"I love you too Kikyou." Kikyou smiled and pulled out three envelopes she had in her pocket each with a different name scribbled across the front.

"I need you to do me another big favor okay? You go to the same elementary school as Souta Higurashi right? Give these two envelopes to him and tell him they're for Kagome and Inuyasha. Can you do that for me? Good girl. Take this one, it's for you. I don't want you to open it until you get to Mrs. Latocki's okay?"

Sending Kaede downstairs Kikyou knew her little sister was in good hands and would be well taken care of. She walked into her room and laid on her bed as she listened to the sounds of the city float through her ears. Getting up, she walked to her dresser and pulled out everything she needed. She found solace in the familiar pressure of the belt squeezing her arm. She sighed at the sting of the needle piercing her vein. As her vision began to cloud and her breathing began to slow there was only one person on her mind.

_'Inuyasha.'_

When he came into her life she'd seen him as a blessing. No one had ever treated her like he did. Like she something precious, something special. He'd shown her love that she'd never known before. She'd always felt she was broken, worthless, but he loved her anyway.

_'I wish I could see you one last time.'_

Her cell vibrated next to her and she slowly reached out to grab it. Flipping it open she squinted at the brightness of the words on the LED screen, and maybe, just maybe God didn't hate her after all.

_I'm sorry for everything that's happened between us Kikyou. I know you hate me, but I meant every word that I said to you today. I care about you and I always will. I understand that things may never be the same between us, but you'll always have a special place in my heart. Please don't forget that._

_-Inuyasha_

* * *

**Fun fact: Kikyou's chapter was the first chapter I wrote, but I knew when I finished it that I wanted to post it last. So I tailored all the other chapters to fit around this one lol.**

**Don't forget to REVIEW!**


	6. Epilogue

A/N: I highly recommend listening to _The Scientist by Coldplay_ while reading this chapter.

Now onto the story!

* * *

**Epilogue: Closest To Heaven**

* * *

_"__Attention all teachers, students of the 2013 graduating class are to meet in the auditorium immediately. Once again students of 2013 graduating class are to report to the auditorium immediately. Thank you."_

_Confused murmors floated across the huge auditorium on Monday morning. Filing into the room Sango and Kagome spotted Miroku and Inuyasha, and made their way towards the two boys. Sango sat next to Miroku, while Kagome took a seat on the other side of Sango._

_"Do you guys know what this is about?" Miroku asked. He saw the Principal sitting on the stage as well as the school guidance counselor, and by the looks on their faces they weren't about receive any good news._

_"I have no idea, maybe something about graduation?" Sango offered._

_"Has anyone seen Kikyou today? Has she come back to school?" Kagome asked suddenly. They all glanced between each other and it appeared that no one had seen hide nor hair of the girl, not even Inuyasha._

_"Okay everyone settle down please!" Mr. Takeda said trying to get everyone's attention. Slowly the side chatter began to die down and the students gave the principal their full attention._

_"Thank you. We called everyone here today to deliver some terrible news. With graduation so close by we hate to be the ones to tell you this, but a member of your graduating class passed away a few days ago." Tears had already begun to fill people's eyes and shocked grasps resounded throughout the auditorium as the students began searching around the room for their absent friends._

_"Who was it?" Came a shaky voice from the back. A sad look crossed over the principal's face as he turned to face Inuyasha, Sango, Miroku, and Kagome._

_"Kikyou Hayashi." The room became deathly silent as all eyes turned to the four teenagers sitting in the front row. Everyone knew how close the group was, and that Kikyou had been Inuyasha's girlfriend up until recently._

_"How?" Inuyasha gripped the arm rests as he forced himself to stay calm. He would not show his weakness front of everyone at school._

_"The police believed she killed herself." Inuyasha's world had stopped spinning at this point. He could vaguely hear Sango sobbing while Miroku whispered comforting words in her ear. He looked up to see Kagome's head fall into her hands, her shoulders shaking with the force of her cries. He turned to eye everyone else in the auditorium. Many people were crying, some looked bored, others were staring at him with that God awful look people always give after someone close to you dies. He couldn't deal with this, not now, not here. He could hear the guidance counselor talking, saying she would be here all day if anyone wanted to talk. Inuyasha went to wipe his face, it was so hot in the room he was sweating, but when he blinked and felt moisture fall on his cheeks, he realized...he was crying._

_Kagome watched him as he bolted from his seat and ran out the door. She wanted to follow him more than anything, make sure that he was okay, but she knew that now wasn't the time. The least she could do was give Inuyasha his space._

* * *

Inuyasha sat alone in his room, his head lying limply between his knees. He sat in the darkness willing it swallow him whole. _Everything_ was so fucked up. It was fucked up beyond repair. Inuyasha didn't think he had the strength to leave the comfort of his dark room, but his self-imposed solitude was becoming more than he could bare. He didn't want to eat, he didn't want to drink, and most of all he didn't want to sleep.

Because sleeping meant dreaming, and he would only dream about _her_.

Inuyasha gently fingered the envelope he hadn't had the courage to open yet. A knock on the door snapped him out his thoughts, light poured in from the hallway and stung his eyes. He blinked to help them adjust and watched as Kagome sat a bowl of food on his dresser.

"I brought you some dinner. Momma made ramen." Kagome was worried about him. He could tell from the soft tone of her voice and that pitiful look in her eyes.

"I'm not hungry." All he wanted was to be alone once more. When he was around people, especially Kagome, his grief seemed easier to deal with, and it wasn't fair. Not to Kikyou or her memory.

"Please, Inuyasha you need to eat. You need to get out of your room." _'You need to remember how to live again.'_ She silently added. Though she couldn't blame him for his behavior. The person he loved most in this world was gone, she could only imagine that he was dealing with it the best way he knew how. But did he have to try to do it alone? Didn't he know that she was here for him? That she would always be here?

"I can't. I don't want to."

"Inuyasha...Kikyou wouldn't have wanted-"

"SHUT UP!" He said fiercely, "Don't you dare try to tell me what Kikyou would have wanted. You don't know anything about it!" Ducking her head to hide her tears, Kagome simply mumbled an apology and quickly left the room. Inuyasha let out a frustrated groan, punching the wall closest to him. He hadn't meant to snap at her like that. Everything Kagome was doing and saying was only out of love and concern for him, he understood that, but it didn't make anything any easier.

"I'm sorry Kagome."

_Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry  
You don't know how lovely you are  
I had to find you, tell you I need you  
Tell you I set you apart  
Tell me your secrets, and ask me your questions  
Oh let's go back to the start  
Running in circles, coming up tails  
Heads on a science apart_

* * *

Kagome sat on her bed wiping away the last of her tears. She willed herself not be angry, for she knew that none of this was Inuyasha's fault. He was hurting, hurting more than anybody.

Kagome looked at the opened envelope she'd received from Souta just days before everything went to hell. Her fingers brushed over the words and a new wave of tears threatened to fall down her cheeks. It hadn't made sense to her when she first read the note, not until she went to school the next day.

_Dear Kagome,_

_I'm sorry. I'm sorry for not being a good friend to you, when you showed me nothing but kindness. I believe that part of my resentment towards you, stemmed from the bond you shared with Inuyasha. I shouldn't have let a boy stop me from appreciating your friendship. I wanted to think you were like every other female I had met. Evil, conniving, and secretly out to steal the one thing I cared about most from under my nose. But you aren't like that are you Kagome? No, you're as pure as they come, and I think that's one of the reasons Inuyasha is so drawn to you. You heal people Kagome, you don't even realize you're doing it either. It's in your smile and in your kind words. I'm sorry for not giving you a proper chance, and I'm sorry for the damage Inuyasha and I have done to your heart. All those years I knew you were hurting and for my own selfish reasons I ignored it, forgive me. I know it probably isn't fair of me to ask, but please do me a favor? Take care of Inuyasha. Make sure that in losing me he doesn't forget who he is. I want him to live on, I want him to be happy, and I realize that only you can help him do that. Do what you do best Kagome, heal him._

_Kikyou_

"I'm sorry too Kikyou. I'm not sure what I'll be able to for him, but for you I'll try."

* * *

"Inuyasha?" Kagome asked tentatively. She slowly crept into the room, observing as Inuyasha's form shifted under the covers. It was her first day back to school since they'd gotten word of Kikyou's death almost a week ago. She'd been hesitant to leave Inuyasha by himself and was relieved to see that he hadn't run off, like he had become prone to doing these last few days.

"What?" He groaned as Kagome turned on the lights in his room. He felt her weight shift the bed, and he poked his head out from under the covers to look at her.

"I just wanted look in on you. You know, make sure you're doing alright."

"I'm fine."

Kagome put a hand on his leg. He'd always been a terrible liar. "Inuyasha please-"

"I said 'I'm fine' okay!? God, I don't know what you people want from me! It's been a week. A fucking week! Why does everyone expect me to be all ease and smiles again? Why does no one understand that I just want to be alone! " He said sitting up quickly.

"Because this isn't healthy Inuyasha!" She yelled back. He looked stunned at her sudden display of emotion. "You're not eating, you're not sleeping, and for Christ's sake when was the last time you showered? If you would ever leave your room maybe you would realize that when you're surrounded by people who care for you it doesn't hurt so much." Kagome said finishing in a gentler tone.

Inuyasha looked to the floor dejectedly. He had been selfish in his actions, only concerned with his own pain. He blamed himself for losing Kikyou. He'd broken her heart and in return she had wanted nothing to do with him, but instead of fighting for her he left her. She needed him and he hadn't been there. How was he supposed to move on from the biggest mistake he'd ever made?

"You're right. I'm being selfish. I haven't taken the time to think about how you or anyone else must be feeling. I thought this was something that I had to suffer through alone." The tears were starting to burn his throat, and the last thing he wanted to do was let them fall, but he couldn't hold out any longer. Soon the salty river began flowing with his pain and he took solace in the feeling of Kagome's arms wrapping around him.

"You're never alone Inuyasha. I'll always be here."

"How can you be so strong?" He whispered. Kagome let out a small giggle and just continued to hold him.

"I'm not strong stupid. I think you mean, how can I be so kind?" Inuyasha chuckled softly, taking Kagome's hand in his. He was no where near being okay, but with Kagome at his side he knew he'd get there eventually.

_Nobody said it was easy_  
_It's such a shame for us to part_  
_Nobody said it was easy_  
_No one ever said it would be this hard_  
_Oh, take me back to the start._

* * *

I had taken the gang almost a month, but they were finally able to raise enough money to give Kikyou a proper burial. With no family besides her little sister Kaede, the state agreed the give them Kikyou's remains.

The ceremony had been small and intimate. Kagome's grandfather luckily was feeling well enough, and offered to read some prayers, hoping to help Kikyou's soul rest peacefully. Her headstone was decorated with flowers and candles. Kagome and Inuyasha had stayed later than anyone else. Inuyasha hadn't been ready to leave and Kagome had refused to leave his side. Even as the sky opened up and the heavens poured down on them, they didn't move.

_"This is all my fault." Inuyasha said shoving his wet bangs from his face. "I should've been there for her. Something caused her to do this and I should've been there to protect her from it!" He said punching the ground in his frustration. Wrapping her arms around his waist Kagome offered him all the comfort she could give as she tried to soothe him with her soft words._

_"You loved her Inuyasha. You gave her more love than she'd ever received in her life, and I'm sure that was more than enough." Inuyasha nodded his head, grateful that Kagome had a knack for always knowing the right thing to say. Only when the rain had extinguished the light the candles had provided did the two finally make their exit from the cemetery, hand in hand._

**.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.**

Kagome sat patiently outside waiting for Inuyasha to finish his history final. Today was the last day of finals week, which meant they had a two week break before it was time to walk across the stage. Kagome had been both anxiously awaiting and silently dreading graduation. This was supposed to an exciting time in her life. She was growing up, discovering who she was, and finally learning what it meant to be independent. A hand found its way to her slightly round tummy and she let out a heavy sigh.

She had reached the two month mark in her pregnancy yesterday, and had yet to tell anyone besides Sango about it. She was avoiding telling her mother and more than anything she was avoiding telling Inuyasha.

_'What am I supposed to say to him? Oh yeah you probably don't remember this, but we had sex because you thought I was Kikyou and now I'm pregnant. Do you want a boy or girl?'_ She thought sarcastically. Kagome got up when she saw Inuyasha approaching, only to be doubled over by a sudden cramp in her abdomen.

"Kagome are you okay?" Inuyasha said worriedly, quickly making his way over to her.

"Yeah I'm fine just a bit of a tummy ache. I probably just ate too much pudding."

"I'll say!" Inuyasha joked putting a hand on her belly, the tight shirt she wore showing off its slight curve. "I'll be sure to stop you after your fourth cup next time." Kagome punched him playfully in his arm as they walked back towards her house. They had made it to the large flight of stairs leading to the small home when Kagome stopped, deciding that today would be the day she told him about the baby.

"Kagome?" Inuyasha said curiously.

"Inuyasha, I have to tell you some-" Her sentence was cut off when the dull throbbing in Kagome's stomach turned into a sharp pain. Falling to her knees she hissed in pain as she started to experience the worst cramps she'd ever felt in her life.

"Kagome! Kagome, what's going on?! You're bleeding!" The young girl watched with tear filled eyes as blood began to pool beneath her knees and stain her skirt.

"Oh no..."She whispered. She watched as Inuyasha pulled out his cell phone and called for help, but she already knew it was too late.

_'I'm losing him.'_

* * *

Kagome woke up to the sound of beeping machines and the harsh smell of chemicals.

"W-where am I?" She said groggily.

"You're in the hospital."

"Inuyasha?" She said turning her head to get a better look at him. Her eyes began to mist as she remembered the events of earlier that day. Sitting up she put a hand on her empty womb and began to sob. This was all her fault. Because she had wished so many times for her baby to go away, God had taken him from her.

_'I didn't want you, but now that you're gone...'_ Would it have been a boy or a girl? She'd always wanted a son. She had dreamed once that Inuyasha hadn't shunned her after she told him about her pregnancy. He embraced her and their son, who was a spitting image of his father. _'And now I'll never know.'_

"Kagome what happened?" Inuyasha said as he moved closer to the bed. Kagome simply hung her head in shame. There seemed to be no point in telling him now, but even though the baby was gone didn't he still have a right to know?

"Inuyasha I was-"

"Kagome! Oh my God, when Inuyasha called me I didn't know what to think! Are you okay sweetie?" Kagome's mom said rushing into the room and towards her daughter.

"I'm fine Mom, thanks to Inuyasha that is." She smiled.

"Thank you Inuyasha for being here with her." Her Mom said gratefully to the young man, who blushed under the praise.

"Kagome, honey, what happened to you?"

"I...I had a miscarriage Momma." She said quietly.

"A miscarriage?! When did you find out you were pregnant? Why didn't you tell me?"

"About 2 months ago. I'm sorry Mom." Kagome said in a shaky voice, "I was scared and I didn't want you to be upset with me." Embracing her daughter, the older woman lovingly stroked her child's hair as she wept.

"Shh, it's alright now Kagome. Everything's gonna be alright now." Pulling away from her mother, she gently asked if she could have a moment alone with Inuyasha. Who was still taken aback by Kagome's news.

"I didn't know you were pregnant." He said softly, his eyes looking everywhere but at her.

"No one did except for Sango. Inuyasha I-"

"It was mine wasn't it." His question coming out as more of a statement. Her eyes widened at his words and her heart began to race.

"How did you know? Did Sango say something to you?!" The girl said her temper steadily rising.

"No! I swear she didn't! It's just...you said you found out two months ago and, that party was about two months ago." He whispered sheepishly. If the moment hadn't been so intense Inuyasha would've laughed at her resemblance to a deer caught in the headlights.

"Y-you remember that? How is that possible when you-" Kagome caught off her own thought as realization struck her like a bolt of lightening. "You knew. You knew the whole the time that it was me, yet you lead me to believe that you'd mistaken me for someone else. For Kikyou."

"Kagome-"

"How could you do that to me!?" She screamed, tears running down her face. "Do you have any idea how much you hurt me?!" Standing from his chair Inuyasha roughly grabbed her hands. She looked up at him, her intent to continue chewing him out, but her rant was swallowed by his lips.

The anger slowly faded from her body with every stroke of his tongue. Her eyes slid closed and her fingers tangled themselves in his hair. Pulling away from him, Kagome struggled to catch her breath.

She stared at him with flushed cheeks, and an expectant look on her face. He saw the confusion swimming deep in her chocolate eyes, and he understood it, because he was confused too. Taking a deep breath Inuyasha said the first thing that came to his mind and hoped everything worked out for the best, because Lord knows that communication was not one of his finer points.

"I've wanted to do that again since the first time I kissed you at that party." Okay, so far so good. "If you never want to speak to me again I won't blame you, but there's one thing that I desperately need you to understand and that's that I _never _meant to hurt you."

"Then why did you-" He put a finger to Kagome's lips to silence her, he had to get this out. He had to tell Kagome the truth if it was the last thing he did. Even if they couldn't be friends he didn't want any regrets between them, like the ones he had with Kikyou.

"I"m an idiot. I'm an idiot and I'm a coward. I was so scared of everything that I was feeling, because in the back of my mind I knew how you felt about me and I wasn't sure I could return your feelings. But when I saw you I couldn't help myself, and it took a lot of thinking and a couple of smacks from Miroku for me to realize how much I've always cared about you. I regret the way I went about doing things, but I don't regret doing them. I don't regret being with you Kagome."

When she didn't respond Inuyasha knew this outcome was inevitable. Kagome wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He'd let his cowardice and stupidity ruin one of the best relationships he'd ever had, and there was no one to blame but himself. He opened his mouth to apologize once more, when her lips crashed onto his. His initial shock began to fade and soon he was returning her kiss with everything he had. They pulled away resting on each other's foreheads, their breaths dancing across the other's heated cheeks.

"I forgive you Inuyasha. I guess it's not your fault you're so dense, just don't do anything that stupid ever again. Plus I already told you I'm not going anywhere. I'll_ always_ be with you."

The sound of clapping jarred the two teens out of their touching moment, as they saw Miroku and Sango standing in doorway, shit-eatting grins adorning both their faces. Kagome smiled at her friends as they laughed and joked, and she couldn't help but think that maybe, just maybe, things were finally going to be okay.

_I was just guessing at numbers and figures  
Pulling the puzzles apart  
Questions of science, science and progress  
Don't speak as loud as my heart  
And tell me you love me, come back and haunt me  
Oh and I rush to the start_

* * *

"Sango Arai!"

The tall brown haired girl excitedly made her way across the stage. Standing before her principal she shook his hand and gratefully received her diploma. She turned to smile at her little brother Kohaku, screaming his head off from his seat in the audience with her father sitting beside him.

"Miroku Ishida!"

Forever the class clown, Miroku tried and failed miserably to do a cartwheel across the stage. The principal gave him a stern but friendly look as he handed the young man his diploma. He'd be the first to admit that he didn't think the boy would make it to see this day, and it was the only time he'd ever be glad he was proven wrong. Looking out into the audience Miroku didn't expect to see any family out there cheering for him, but his girlfriend was, and she was all he needed.

"Kagome Higurashi!"

The raven haired girl smiled wide as she accepted her signed diploma. She saw her mother dabbing her tears and her brother cheering her on. Her grandpa hadn't been able to make it, but she knew he was with her in spirit. She thought she'd be happier about closing this chapter in her life, but thinking about everything she'd been through here she knew she would miss it. Mr. Takeda went to shake her hand, but Kagome was feeling nostalgic so she pulled him in for a hug, before finding her way back to her seat.

"Inuyasha Sugitani!"

Damn it felt good to be here! It'd been a long time coming and the moment couldn't be sweeter for Inuyasha as he received his diploma. Sesshomaru had always told he'd never amount to anything and that pigs would fly before he graduated high school. Well he hoped those pigs flew right up Sesshomaru's ass! Inuyasha looked out at the audience as he saw Kagome's mother and brother cheering for him just as vigorously as they had for Kagome. He would be eternally grateful for the kindness they had shown him when his own brother had given up on him. He watched as Kagome, Sango, and Miroku all screamed for him, and it cut him to the quick when he realized the only person missing to make this moment perfect was Kikyou. _'But you're watching down on all of us, aren't you Kikyou?'_

"Ladies and gentlemen I present to you, the graduating class of 2013!" Caps filled the air, parents cheered for their children, the students cried and hugged one another, knowing this would probably be the last time they'd ever see some of their friends. They'd been working their whole lives to reach this moment. To start their futures.

And they were ready.

* * *

Inuyasha, Kagome, Sango, and Miroku all stood somberly around Kikyou's headstone.

**Kikyou Hayashi**

**Dear Friend and Beloved Sister.**

**May you find eternal peace.**

**1995-2013**

"We finally made it Kiks." Inuyasha said as he placed Kikyou's cap and diploma on her grave. It was hard moving on without her, but he'd have to do it, and with his friends by his side he knew he would. Kagome's small hand found her way into his larger one and he smiled down at her. The sun moved from behind the clouds and began to shine down on them, as if Kikyou herself was giving him permission to be happy.

"Would you like a moment alone?" Kagome asked him. He nodded without looking back at her, only knowing she was gone because of the loss of warmth from her hand.

"I didn't think I'd ever get the courage to open this thing." Inuyasha said pulling the envelope he'd gotten from Souta out of his pocket. "I'm kinda scared you know? I feel like reading it will be like saying goodbye to you for the final time...but maybe that's for the best." Slowly he opened the letter, his eyes misting at its contents.

_Dear Inuyasha,_

_Saying goodbye to you has to be the hardest thing I've ever done. If there was any other way I would find it, but there isn't. I can't go on like this Inuyasha, and to drag you into this dark place I find myself stuck in would be wrong. The last time I saw you I told you I hated you. It was the biggest lie I've ever told. The feelings I have for you are far from hatred, and I'm sorry for blaming you for things that are not your fault, like how you feel about Kagome. Yes, I know all about that and I'd give anything to see the expression on your face as you read this. You love her Inuyasha and that's okay. Before I end this letter to you I want to say that I'm sorry. I'm sorry Inuyasha, for anything and everything I've ever done to hurt you or make you doubt the love that I have for you. I love you Inuyasha. I've never loved anyone else the way I love you, and I know that Kagome will take care of you, because she is the only person in the world who loves you more than me._

_You are forever in my heart,_

_Kikyou_

The tears ran down Inuyasha's face freely and for the first time in awhile he genuinely smiled. Wiping his face Inuyasha set his letter on her grave. He thought reading the letter would be painful, but if anything it gave him peace. Looking up into the sky somehow he knew that wherever she was, Kikyou was okay.

"I'll never forget you."

**.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.**

The four teens gathered around a campfire in a patch of secluded woods. They were pretty sure camping here wasn't allowed, but hey, since when did they start giving a shit about the rules? They laughed and reminisced about the good ol' days, while drinking their beers and singing corny campfire songs.

"Okay guys it's time!" Kagome said as she went retrieve her college letter from her bag. The group had decided early on in the school year that they'd all save their college letters and open them together after graduation.

"Okay Miroku you first." Sango said nudging her boyfriend excitingly. He glanced nervously at the white envelope before tearing it open. His eyes quickly scanned the words of the letter before he jumped from his spot on the ground, taking Sango with him and twirling her around.

"I got in! I got into the American Film Institute!"

"I'm proud of you Miroku." Sango said with a sad smile. Though she was truly happy for Miroku, going to the American Film Institute meant that he would be moving to California and away from her. But she knew it was his dream to become a big time movie producer.

"Sango before we move on there's something I have to ask you." Grabbing her hands Miroku dropped to one knee before her. Her mouth opened in complete shock and he vaguely registered Kagome's excited giggles in the background. "Marry me Sango. Not now or tomorrow, but in a few years, after we've graduated from university. Make me the happiest man alive and become my wife."

"M-Miroku...I don't know what to say." She said, her voice trembling.

"Say yes!" Kagome screamed.

"Yes. Yes I'll marry you." For the second time that night Sango was lifted from her feet as Miroku bestowed a passionate kiss on her lips.

"Enough of that! Sango it's your turn." Inuyasha grumbled effectively ruining the romantic moment.

Opening her envelope she squealed as she read the first few lines of her letter. "Dear Sango Arai, we are pleased to inform of you of your admission to the Michigan State University school of Education." Setting down her letter Sango looked at Kagome giddily.

"Okay Kagome you're next." She told her. Blushing under all the attention as everyone's gazes focused on her, she quickly scanned the contents of her letter.

"I got accepted! I'm going to the University of Michigan school of Nursing!" She said happily.

"The University of Michigan? I got into their school of Kinesiology." Inuyasha said as he took out his already opened letter.

"Inuyasha you were supposed to wait your turn!" Kagome chastised.

"Well excuse me for wanting to open my letter instead of watching Sango and Miroku make out all night!" He fired back. Sighing in defeat Kagome could only shake her head and laugh. That was her Inuyasha all right, forever the impatient one.

"What's Kinesiology?" Sango asked him.

"Exercise science."

"Only you would find a way to major in exercise." Miroku joked. The group of friends continued to laugh and have fun together. Simply enjoying each other's company while they still had the chance. They toasted to living in the present and patiently awaiting their futures. They had all struggled to get to this point, fighting tooth and nail in their own personal hells to get that much closer to heaven.

_Running in circles, chasing our tails_  
_Coming back as we are_

_Nobody said it was easy_  
_Oh it's such a shame for us to part_  
_Nobody said it was easy_  
_No one ever said it would be so hard_  
_I'm going back to the start_

* * *

**And so it's done! This story will always be close to my heart. Lyrics in this chapter are from The Scientist by Coldplay. I just felt that the lyrics really suited what all the characters having going through to get to this point, plus the song itself is beautiful.**

**Also since I'm not at all familiar with Japanese schooling, assume that everything in this story has taken place in America.**

**Anyways thank you to everyone for reading!**

**Don't forget to REVIEW :)**


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